Monday, March 26, 2012

Why Max could never be my wingwoman.

So, im falling fast for this guy. He works semi close, Lets just say his name is Andrew..because the odds of him ever reading this blog are very slim.

He happens to work about a mile from my house. Which is awesome. Maxwell and I are always out walking. For those of you that do not know me, Max is my troublesome inquisitive cute but abnoxious border collie.

So, Silly me. I decide to drop in today to drop off a paper for a different employee. My muse is in.

He walks to the door, I exclaim I do not want to come in because I have stinky with me (did I mention Max is due for a grooming, natty dread-y, and quite stinky from living much of his life outdoors?)

Anyways, whereas most people wouldnt bring a smelly dog to a persons place they are certainly interested in, i guess im a little different.

So, first.. it goes like this:

Hey Andrew...could you give this paper ::YANK:: Max! stop it!! Sorry Andrew...could you give this ::jerks back:: MAX!! Sorry......I am so sorry.

Andrew laughs, he seemingly likess dogs but stood in front of the door. The machine next door kept scaring Max, so he told us to come in (after I finished explaining why I was there).

I bring him in, hes stinkier then he seems. While he reeks up the store, and begins farting (clearly he was as nervous as I was). I begin to turn red. REALLY praying that Andrew does not think that the odor is coming from me.
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I warned Max ahead of time..but I can give you a million stories to how that dog has done something embarrassing or dangerous through the years...more then any dog I have ever owned in my life.

Anyways...as my embarrassment goes on, Max finally settles down.

Andrew and I start talking..my prime goal was to compliment his smile he kept showing me. As I ease the conversation into that..I hear a THUD.

I look behind me, Maxwell is standing his front feet on the ice cream case.

I yank him off gently, and get back to my conversation, clearly..my dignity was not there with me that night.

Andrew and I continue our convo, I laugh because Max kept staring at his reflection in the beer case...he puts his front feet on the counter in front between Andrew and I.

I giggle and so does he..I again say "Max get down!"

So he wanders off again, Andrew gets out one of those beef jerky silver dollars and sets it on the counter..he calls Max back to the counter, Max puts his front feet up, grabs the silver dollar, takes it to the floor..and GAGS this REALLY loud barf gag.

My dignity ran off, met me at home with my dinner later. I told Max "PLEASE dont throw up in the store, boy"

Andrew laughs again. Thank God he has a good sense of humor. I then exclaim that I better get him home and go eat dinner, afraid of what Max could pull as I would leaving.

I then told Andrew id see him later in the week, and left.

That, is why my dog is probably the worlds worst wingwoman...but I love that stinky furball anyway.

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