facebook cures (tee hee hee)

Facebook cures Insomnia
For if your online, you aren't intending on sleeping, your just willingly awake

Facebook cures sleep apnia
because you cannot stop breathing in your sleep if your actually not asleep

Facebook cures trouble
am i out tagging peoples cars and abandoned buildings at 1 AM? nope. im at home facebooking

Facebook gets people to open up
where else would you post that you took a giant dump that looked like a tuba?

Facebook gets people fired
because your boss isn't a "fudge-compacter" when hes married and has 7 children

Facebook is educational
where else can you learn how to take out mobsters and pillage ships and harvest crops?

Facebook cures boredom
oh come on, you know you were looking at her new boyfriends pictures (opposite for you ladies) and had nothing better to do then to snoop that she works at the cineplex and if you weren't, you were just playing one of those flash games or posting a status about who the fuck knows what..

Personally: Facebook cures my phobias
because im yet to see anything dead or rats via facebook aside from a couple of crooky guys.

Facebook cures diarrea
How can you be defacating in a flushing bowl while typing at 50 WPM? go turbo go.

Facebook cures relationship problems
Girlfriend bothering you? send her a message and set your status to single, not a tear shed to your knowledge !!

Facebook cures the "Symptoms" of crabs
because, how can you itch with your fingers touching the keyboard? and if you can, remind me next time im over not to use your computer :)

Facebook lets you say things you cannot generally say
because, you have no other reason to call people "scantilly clad, no cloth between the legged, fancy seat-belt fastening escorts"
or
to tell him how mentally retarded he might be for trying to look hot using the internet


Facebook get people dates
because that 40 year old fat guy with cyphillis and a nact for 18 year old boys couldn't find one anywhere else.

and my last one..
facebook gets people friends, because otherwise, you bitches and whores and words i will not say would have no other reason to scan your beady little eyes over what I have written.
andddd I thank you :)