learning to live again, is killing me (to quote the great Garth Brooks)
Smartest decision of my life COULD BE been when i decided to use my gift card my
Mom insisted i used when i go out with my friends on my family. Everyone talked about wanting "all you can eat" shrimp but being broke, i said for the oompteenth time "ive got a gift card, lets just use it!". So we did, I sat down, few minutes later, his steamy dark brown eyes met mine, I grinned and thought "ive seen you before, but suddenly, i feel something stronger this time" We do our thing, take our order. To put some of me in this situation, and my being of the NOTORIOUS P.I.G that I am, finds that a great way to get an attractive man would be pound down 6 orders of all you can eat shrimp, is that a good way to get his positive attention when you eat like a tank?? Anyways, he laughs at my jokes, corney as they may be, he finds them funny, but that look. Ive only gotten that look one other time in my life, and everyone here knows just who that is. This guy, he gave me this look right before he left my table. His dark eyes met my dark eyes, and we both grinned this huge grin. Him with his beautiful teeth, and me and my "spongebobs" ::giggles like Spongebob::. His short dark hair matched his dark brown eyes perfectly, and mostly, his continuing to laugh at my jokes and grin at me around the table. (tee hee hee)
We had 2 moments, where our eyes met eachother in a "special" way, where neither of us could start smiling, then I knew. I know there was something there that he probably felt too.
I sit in awe, this feeling stands familar even tho i wasnt wanting to be anything but feel the freedoms of single-hood. i had Krys, Jennie, Allen, practically alling in a chorus line of "Desperado" by The Eagles (GOOD SONG!) telling me to try, try again in my skeptical-ness, i refused. Suddenly, im feeling geeky. Friends are now tellin me "go back in there! slip him your number on a piece of paper!" (thanks Josh and Jennie for that suggestion), or "ask him what hes doing after work!!!!" (Coco!) and someone tied to my past who ill leave her annonymous because she will want it that way, gladly tell me she is happy for me to find someone.
Of course ive had crushes, people ive found attractive in the last several months, however, no one (but one other person in my entire life) has ever given me THAT look, it wasnt a look of shock and awe at all those shrimped i pigged down ::pig squeal::, it wasnt a look of "please leave me a good tip!" (im not bill payer, but i got the special attention!), and it wasn't the expression of "you just spilled your drink all over the table, dumbass" (its true yes, my mom tried to throw salt in it, child!), it was a look that screamed "I like you, I think" or "im interested" either that, or as usual, im reading to far into things..
So, after eating all that shell-fish-goodness, and dropping a full iced tea across the table soaking all of our napkins 10 minutes into my visit, i still wasnt thrown out of the restaurant, thats the first good sign :) and that is SOOO TYPICAL of my behavior when im around someone I am interested in..
It feels good, going down that road, someone potentially feeling what you are feeling but for now its a mystery in itself. If its a no, "Ryan" and I were not meant to be ::throws that fish in the ocean if that the case:: If it is a yes, I would hope all my girly friends will leave me dear picture comments when i start posting the mushy-snuff all over again and then i can show him my blog :D
Im stepping onto the field, lets hit a home run this time, ill be excited if i dont have to ship "Cuban-sperm" afterall.
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