Why racism in the 21st century?

I don't get it. I just don't.

Middle Eastern racism is OK
Black racism is FROWNED UPON
Mexican racism is OK, unless there's a Mexican in the room.
If you're a Spainyard, it's ok..because they were making fun of Mexicans.

None of it is OK, just because Middle Easterns didn't have a Martin Luther King or were sold as slaves, doesn't mean we can pick on them instead.

Someone in one of my classes made a comment today that boiled my soul.

In my class we divided into groups where we had to discuss issues and form a speech basis.

The group next to me has a Saudi Arabian man in their group, who got up and left in the middle of group work.

I said "why did 'so and so' (nameless to protect the innocent) leave?"

One student says "I don't know, maybe because we were talking about bombs".

I let out a ::gasp::

She said "no REALLY!"

What breaks my heart? I really think she DIDN'T get how racist that sounded.

I thought: "it would be like if they were black, and she said something along the lines of a fried chicken plate disappearing". Horribly wrong, and we know this because the person is black. 

What breaks my heart more? Nobody gets it.

Just because they are middle eastern, doesn't mean they affiliate with explosives.
Just because a guy drove a plane into two buildings who was middle eastern, doesn't mean they're all terrorists.

I have made two friends this term who I greatly respect and love, and I hate that America still won't get the horribly racist ideas about all Middle Easterns out of their heads.

We can't be that naieve, that stupid, we just shut our eyes, play the victim, and refuse to get rid of the racism and schemas that come with skin color.

Pesty phesty

I don't usually post Facebook banter on personal blogs-but here goes.

Recently an article in Psychology today talked about why people don't reply to messages.

I'm a person who advocates being an introvert- so I apologize if you're feeling my opinion reflect that too much.

Here goes: all raw and true.

I see a lot of self entitled individuals on this post.
A cell phone is a LUXURY.
I have a family, pets, stuff going on, people to see, driving to do, places to go.
I'm not going to just stop what I'm doing and reply to you.
What happened when you wanted to send me a message in "1975'. You left a message on my answering machine.
What about in 1900?
You didn't. See? Exactly.
I need to unplug, collaborate, and listen.

The other day I had lunch with a friend of mine, we didn't touch our phones the entire time we ate and waited for our food. We had fun and enjoyed each others company.
I wouldn't trade my good times, NOT PLUGGED IN, for anything. Not even your stupid text message.
My family is more important, my friends are more important, my well being is more important.

Work is hell on the home front

One of the greatest professors I ever had was a math professor a couple of years ago.
I can name about 5 or 10 that I have had a Clark that I've had a deeper impact on me then just the subject they are teaching.
He had a way of incorporating life lessons in algebraic equations in one of the things I learned from him that was probably something really mentioned in passing was
"Don't bring your work home."

Sure it's a phrase everybody has heard that sounds simple enough, but yet most of us do it anyways.

I get home the office calls, other caregivers call and text asking how the day went, I have to get voicemails during school breaks talking about how ugly things happened for that day and I have to worry about friends and relatives coming over babbling on about the same job that I have to put up with during the day.

I have a sister who's a lot older than I am and works the same job I do at the same company. She uses her own non-hippa violating stories as small talk when she makes an occasional visit on the weekend-and spends a lot of time on it.

One of my moms closest friends and I share a client, so when she comes over to visit I have to hear sometimes about things that happen when I'm not there.

Each time I'm caught in a scenario that is to worky for too long, I change the subject.
Part of my family thinks I'm crazy but I have a very exponentially stressful job.

We all do, while I'm not sure how it affects me from how it affects others I have my own coping method for dealing, just as they do.

I am polite enough to not say this to them and subtle enough to change the subject without it being odd, but going back to professor Joe's idea on work and home being separate, I have made a personal choice and I do not let the natural negativity affect my life outside of the workplace so I can deal inside the work place a lot better.

When my business takes off and I'm working from home that's going to be a different demon, but for now I am perfectly content with
"HOW BOUT THOSE MARINERS."

Cecil the lion and the public humility that is Walter Palmer

As an advocate for the voiceless, I felt as if writing a blog on this was completely necessary.

Most of you have heard the story about Cecil the lion and the dentist (Walter Palmer) that payed $55,000 to have him killed. Not for the purposes of meat, but for the purposes of self satisfaction, a pelt on his floor, and a head on his wall.

The first thing my the fine people of the internet started doing was writing messages regarding what a dark person he is. One particular place targeted was his Yelp page for his dental business.

According to Venture beat, Yelp was relatively upset about the manner and went and deleted the reviews regarding pointing out this Lion killing dentist, making a claim about the combination of business and politics.
While usually this would be a wise decision since the combination of Business and politics is usually an ugly ugly disaster that breeds arrogance and debt, this is definitely a case of moral that Yelp isn't considering and has probably made this decision to save their own ass.

While I usually fully support the separation of business and politics, I certainly make an exception for a malicious case like this. One has to think, if a man is capable of brutally killing something, torturing and terrorizing it for 40 hours, coaxing it, and putting $55,000 dollars to mount pieces of it on its wall, do you really trust his morals when it comes to working on your teeth?

Anesthesia is usually used, and surprisingly: people CAN die from getting their teeth worked on.
I suppose there is the psychology behind big game hunting but I just can't understand but looking at it from an analytical perspective, it sure looks like malicious behavior.
This isn't a lion that was killed for meat or population control. This lion wasn't threatening anybody. This lion simply died for Walter Palmer's ego.

He could come up front and give his apology that just beat around the "legal issue" bush, but you have to look at the larger picture here.

So do we attack his business and insure he could never practice again? Why not?

He attacked and murdered the beautiful animal, father of 24 cubs, at his weakest point and even lured him out of the sanctuary to do so. So public shaming and losing his business shouldn't occur, because why?

Sometimes, humility and shame needs to occur in order for moral to improve. If you've ever taken a course in sociology, you would know that you respond different in the eyes of others than you do in your own home or personal life.  Sometimes without knowing. It is a natural human instinct to impress others, and humility is a good way to raise moral behavior when it cannot be raised by "giving a shit about the needs of others."

So these people who are out to kill for the sole purpose of killing, how else are they going to learn?
We are much past the point in history where people get killed for bad moral. The world is only getting darker and worse as time goes on. Why that is I am not sure but society has gotten so "overprotective" of these malicious beings that are only creating issues for other people.

This goes back to that childhood fable (was it Aesop?) Where "two wrongs don't make a right" but how else are we to practice good leadership and influence others who clearly cannot learn to practice sympathy or empathy on our own?
What if public shaming taught others to do correct things out of fear if doing wrong is just a part of who they are?

Would love to read a response somewhere on this one.

This is more of a comical relief than a Pinterest fail

So years (and I mean years ago) my Mother gave me this bright idea of "storing things under your bed between your box spring and your mattress like bedding and other linens".
I've had a twin so I've done a lot of folding of these said items and they built up for many years without even getting a look at.
Needless to say, packrat that I am I thought this idea was simply genius and did it for years.
Well, everyone gets in habits and routines, such as: using one or two pairs of sheets and same with a comforter and keeping everything else.
So, after a while, times change, things add up and I notice my mattress is rather lumpy.
Having purchased a new mattress a few years back, I never actually changed my bedframe/box spring and things Bevan to accumulate. Evil things.
After years of "mattress lumpiness". I finally got fed up and stripped everything that has accumulated between my mattress and boxspring-all the way back to thw time period of the old mattress.
Here's the list of junk I found, needless to say my bed has gone down maybe a foot and

For whatever reason (I hope you read that in sarcasm) it feels smooth and flat.
Amongst the items I found:
*My missing Seattle Mariners hat in badass brown and pink.
*about 7 pillow cases
*3 or 4 comforters
4 full sheets sets
*2 baby blankets
*car seat covers
*9 blankets my Mom sewed for me through the years
*7 blankets that were either gifted to me or store bought
*2 snuggys
*4 towells
*a bed skirt
*4 sets of curtains
*tree skirt
*scarf
*my Eddie Bauer bucket hat
*more hats

Did I mention my mattress doesn't feel lumpy anymore?
Problem diagnosed. Now I'm looking at piles of neatly folded linens and looking forward to sleeping in a position that isn't slightly inclined for the first time in my own bed in several years.



Here is all of the stuff I pulled out from under my bed.

Lesson learned, these things cannot consume me anymore! 

Chick chicky boom chick chicky boom

I have asked this question on Facebook I don't know how many times this year.

Everybody has a favorite song or notation that they enjoy. Whether it's a drumbeat, an introduction, a lyrical wave or just a song as a whole.

Writing this on Don Henley's birthday is a prviliage. As an adolescent in the early 2000's, I used to play his greatest hits album endlessly on my "Walkman". The CD ones, you all remember. Before Spotify premium, every chance I could listen at lunch, on the bus, or during quiet work time, that CD played relatively often for the entire duration of high school. The favorite tracks would change and every once and a while, I'd swap out my Don Henley album for well, more Eagles work.
Along the way, I kept collecting music and repeating it.
Lately, my absolute favorite thing is to play Africa by Toto on repeat or on a calm work morning. Recently older drum related tunes of the South by digging up Desi Arnaz music (before and after his role as Ricky Ricardo in "I love Lucy") and specific riffs really catch my ear and mind.

So, what is your go-too tune? What is something you find yourself specifically going back too or playing repetitively? What kind of unsaid feeling of euphoria do you collect from that?

Pull back the label on that coffee creamer, yeah that one

So I gave up coffee creamer several months ago. At the time, I just wanted to decrease sugar but I had consistent dizzy spells and this horrible stomach ache that is usually brought on by what I thought was stress. (Correlation isn't always causation). I figured it was all the drama going on with, well a guy.... on top of regular everyday work stuff that is overwhelming.
Well, my coworker had brought me a coconut one, knowing it was one of my favorites.
Today, after staring at it in the fridge. I didn't want to be rude (and I just really missed coconut cream coffee creamer!) I had some in this mornings Joe for the first time in months.
I got home a couple hours later, and that old familiar dizzy spell was back. I hadn't had it in months, I also got that weird stomach ache back-realized I hadn't felt that in a while too.
I'm usually not sensitive to artificial stuff because I'm used to having it semi regularly-but for whatever reason, maybe the soy and well PRESERVATIVES since most of them are non dairy- it was amazing the physical affects that I immediately felt.
The other thing I noticed (and didn't lose in one day) was my ability to focus a lot better and how much that has improved.

It was weird. I drank it every day for many months maybe even a few years. I didn't have those symptoms until shortly before I stopped drinking it, and then I felt them almost immediately when I started back up.

So, black it is.

Dark side

I wonder in life: does everybody have a dark side?
I know I do, I cant live in denial about it. I never wish or cause harm to anyone, my dark side is purely apathy. Times when I know I should care and I just can't bring myself to do it. Times I know I should feel empathy, but I just can't feel it.

It seems like most people I have gotten close to have a very similar darker side of some kind, which raises the question: does everybody have a mild dark side?

This box

This box is empty, yes?

This box is going to be full. Then there's going to be MANY MORE.

Well, my cat isn't going anywhere he's just a ham.

Ive struggled for years with being a packrat. A lot of people compare it to that TLC show "hoarders" in conversation, well... no. Us pack rats find that show kind of racist against, well.....all other pack rats.

My "hoard" of stuff is clean as can be, its simply one bedroom, NO rats or bugs or cat poop or piss, no trash or pizza boxes, just a bunch of stuff.

Usable, mind consuming, cluttering stuff. I'm a nice person, people bring me nice things. I love reading, watching movies, pop culture, buying random shit but NO MORE.

It needs to stop. I need space in my life. Space is positive change. It gives me room to start my advertising business in full swing and it gives me space to create, paint, draw, use charcoals and do things I do now withclutkterr and hassle. Things that stifle my mind and raise my hostility. Things that create a tension inside of me. I need to meditate MORE and for once in my own home, and relax. I need to breathe while I'm still youthful.

So I need less stuff, 2/3 less.

Now I've gotten some boxes out of here, I have. But in a small room its a minor minor dent, so I'll need several of these filled to the brim of clothes, books, Jesus only knows what else.

I can't get attached to stuff. I need to just stay attached to animals, nature, and people but stuff is dispensable and I need to accept that.

It is then, with empty space, that I can grow.

I'll miss my youth one day and I deserve the blessing of space, but I won't miss all of this stuff.

The little things

5.20.15

Sometimes in life, you just have to focus on the little things to get you through the day. Cliche yes? But this seems to work. So here goes: no order, just listing and certainly not everything.

If you take on this challenge, do at least 15 to 20 on your list.

So here's today's list:

*the little handsome dude that rambles on about "THAT ONE GAME" when you walk in the door.

*the dog that politely puts her paw on your chest when you address a question, the big blonde one that can't keep his tongue off of your face, or the two or three littles that wiggle into your lap when you slide down to the floor.

*fucking netflix

*those moments of laughter even in the most stressful of environments.

*oh and those little moments of laughter over there too.

*and those.

*a salty basket of fries and the cheeseburger without the lettuce and the ketchup.

*hand out the window while driving

*the outer dog that tries to imitate human noises.

*the "big boned" lap cat on the back of the chair

*stories in the morning from Ma, from both news sources and personal stories.

*waking up to pounding noises and finding out its the inquisitive parakeet and his little brother.

*Spotify premium

*sibling texts that are based in humor and advice

*all of the regulars at the stores and the inside jokes that occur with them.

*baby pictures from my best friend and our long conversations.

Life is gorgeous, everything else is just irrelevant.

Love is worth, everything we want it to be.

Oh my gosh, she's 22 and dating a 40 year old.

He's 18 and dating a 50 year old.

Like the institute of blended families, polygamy, and gay marriage: these moments are becoming more common.

Yet, they are still vastly socially unacceptable, why is this?

Well, in situations such as gay marriage, up until a few years ago and still in many states: the law stopped this from happening.

Polygamy is facing a similar factor. Both stem from (outrageous or not) religious beliefs. So where does age play into that?

It doesn't.
It gets grouped and stereotyped.

If the male is older, we see this as a predatory situation. Or that the female involved has Daddy issues.

Nobody sees the girl who's attached to a different generation because she feels as if hers is broken. Maybe she doesn't fit into the generation she was born into, and can see the sophistication behind the older male that others her age don't. As for him, he's desperate to hold onto his youth.

Terrible isn't it?
No, it's not your business.

Love is love. Before we are the age we currently are, we all have individual personalities and ideas on life.

It's a beautiful thing. Individuality.

It's like walking into a rose garden and cutting the stems that appeal to you instead of cutting stems of all the same shapes and sizes.

Some people will want round, full sophisticated roses and some will want young, fresh vibrant buds.

As long as both parties completely consent, who are we to judge anyways?