How can we change the world? step 1.

I think in honor of disabilities month...we should all do what we can to make a difference. People do not think we are powerful enough but we can. Lets take it to a whole new step, and make it diversity month. My idea is: everytime you see someone online on a fourm or a meme making fun of someone who is: of ANY race, creed, religion, any kind of disability (physical or mental) you report them. Lets make facebook a little bit, nicer. Who is up for the challenge? how to change the world, step 1. kinkysoandso.blogspot.com That is my first installment on how I can contribute, and help others to contribute to making the world a better place. If you have ANY IDEAS feel free to send them to me. Also, if you wanna take that above paragraph too facebook or anywhere, feel free. chiliconholly@gmail.com and ill post them here or link your blog in one of my entries. Thanks everyone. Hope this new idea helps. I have been wanting to see some changes in the world.

Out of a memoir...

As I whistfully leave with my blue scrubs on and prepare to do my next task...its a day where a strong flavored tuna sandwich wedge and the cool breeze in the air reminds me of the San Franciso breeze..I reminice on what might have been.

Redwood forest and Paul McCartney

YouTube link.

So it was a nice September  day and I was going through the Redwoods forest. It was my first trip there and I was extremely excited. I got out after being in a car for several hours, and stretched my legs and bones. As I get there they are about to close the trees of mystery walking tour. I venture  into the gift shop and the song starts playing. I glanced over and I see this man standing there. I remember his dark eyes and his innocent looking face. Why I do not know but he was staring at the press penny machine. I was across from him trying to pick out the first shot glass to add to my collection from the strip. Being in a brand new place a brand new state and observing everything and everyone around me, for some reason now when I hear this song I think of that exact moment. It's called let em in by Paul McCartney in the wings. I heard this song before and knew the artist. I did not know the title so I had trouble finding it. last night I was on a journey to find the title of the song by 1 single instrumental rift. A rift that I have been whistling for many weeks now. I admit this is not 1 of my best writing pieces. Yet it like the moment in time means a lot to me.

Nervous about my future.

I have been a caregiver for about a year and a half to two years now. Where I like it, I also..do not. Saying "I do not like to be a caregiver" in those words, probably makes me sound extremely insensitive. I just feel like ,it is not the job for me. Where I care about people, I make sure they are in good spirits, well cleaned up while respecting their diginity and boundaries to the best of their needs and my limits, its not the job for me. I should be in an environment with various chances to socialize with many people. The opportunity for my life to go in a direction that suits me a little better sounds like something I need to strive for. Even if its target night freight, with animals, my calling is not where I am. My spirit keeps telling me it is time to move on. So here I am, applying and applying. Planning on keeping caregiving on the side (im down to one client and a few more subs I am close too). I do want some other job, to make more money and do something a little more in my natural realm. So its back too this little short complied list of things that I am going to conduct. I give you: A. Nodding off on my computer while listening to Elton John and a half written app in front of me. B. Awkward interviews C. Lack of self motivation to complete those applications. D. The "friend connect" I always start up (texting everyone looking for work who is hiring). E.Attempts of not sounding too cocky or too self-conscious on the questionnaires F. We all know what F stands for...that 4 letter word exclaimed after a few days go by and no one has called back your name on a job :) G. What is a ligitimate job offer..and what is not. What kind of struggles do you have with applying for jobs and landing them?

To Eddie:

We've never met before, but I can see your eyes so deep. As you follow me around, and before you go to sleep. You'll carry a security plush, and look to me for approval. I'll probably scrub your scruffy head and call you a little noodle. One day ill get to meet you, tho now your just an egg. I'll discipline you properly and teach you not to beg. Often I dream about, my own child to hold. Who I can hand a fleece blanket too when you feel so cold. Who I can tuck inside your bed, and gently kiss your beautiful head. Then when I lay myself down for the night, ill pray to God all holy that you'll grow up alright :)

The Big C.

College. a place for..pizza eaters, beer drinkers, students that have a career in mind..and now..me as well. Im excited..really. I filled out my first of many fourms..and I feel like..this huge thing is going to hit me, actually happening in front of my eyes. So far..id like to major in Journalism, and minor in business. Business will open up my opportunities too : make my own publication company (as in newspaper or real online blogging system where me and other writers join forces to entertain). Start my food cart ive been dreaming of for years, switch it all over and get into advertising..or. The skies the limits. i feel like..I picked JUST THE RIGHT major/minor..it just did not f ully hit me til now. So like a ton of bricks..I got my ass in gear, got motivated, and here I am talking of my adventures. FAFSA: Check. now..to apply myself in simple things like putting my shoes away...anotha story!

my confession poem to being an app addict :)

I decided to get online..and click a button that says play. Then all of a sudden, my mind was corrupt by this app everyday. I could not stop the clicking, my mouse was even sticking. but as i collected points and coins, and the computer went boinga boing. I realized I had a problem. Yet as I type this poem, I realized uh no uhhm? I forgot to upgrade my convenience store...I feel like an app whore! Im stuck on button after button ,of useless app and mutton. I could make better use of my time, says the person writing this corny rhyme. but its back to..simcity.