Hoarder-spiration (inspiration for hoarders)

I see... a room with black and white inspiration, filled with Charlie Chaplin quotes and art, and Hollywood inspiration including a John Belushi poster. With maybe a few splashes of yellows, blues and greens and a piece of Banksy art. I alternatively see..a surf, beach, island theme area with little happy touches on the wall of color, my yellow curtains up in the summertime, and yet..plenty of space to spread out and do art and build projects in my spacious abode. I have: a room thats a total mess that is in the process of an island theme.  BUT....Its a work in progress. it was halfway done, and for every 2 steps back..I then will walk 5 steps forward.


Wrote this to help give me the vision..the courage to turn that stereo up, ignore my facebook, and take on that overbearing mess with my head held high. No matter what I face keeping/not keeping...I am to remind myself that the space will do me so much better. It will help me as a mother, daughter, artist and whatever else I strive to be.

Notable quotes in wake of this weeks shootings.

Dont give up Dont lose hope. Dont lose faith. - Lola Montgomery, Portland, OR DJ


Everybody keeps posting they can't wait to hug their kids a little tighter. Feel that way everyday and our future might be a little brighter.- Mick Lite

"May God bless the memory of the victims." -President Obama

Breaks in our heart, not in our faith- Sheryl Cadwell

 Event's like the ones happen this week...are always why I say I love you every night..to my family..you just never know when it might be the last time..

- Leta McConnaughey


In times of darkness, 
one must simply stop searching for the light, 
and become the glow for others to follow.
~ Christopher Seymour ~


Always kiss your children goodnight, even if they're already asleep- H. Jackson Brown JR


‎"Just can't live that negative way .. Make way for the positive day !" - Bob Marley

Theres nothing positive to say about todays events. I could rant on about politics, gun control, what a dirty bastard both Jacob Roberts and Adam Lanza are. Nothing will bring the 20 kids back, the 7 more adults from Connecticut or the 2 people that died in Clackamas the 2 days before from the mall shooting. I just felt like posting the best quotes from my facebook news feed would be comforting to those in America right now.

Also found:

For those of you that would like to send a card,note etc...Please let these people know the world has been watching their tragedy. 
Sandy Hook Elementary School
12 Dickenson Dr.
Sandy Hook, CT 06482

another wonderful birthday . it was fun, festive, and full of love. Thats not why im writing today.

My Mom got me a very awesome gift, a gift that inspired me to write.
.
.Now, ive been a gamer. For a very long time in fact...my roots in the world of gaming always have gone back to ONE blue, spikey, badass hero.

Sonic. I was 6 years old, an energetic little loud tomboy of a kid with a zaney as loud personality. We went into sears, and I brought home my first video game system. My family gave me a brief overview...and I merely put it down since.

For years I played that genesis. Then it broke, so did my heart. My sisters "fill in profanity" ex took a cord out...at that point, I had picked up a playstation. All the kids had one, the games became instantly a part of me...but  no doubt sonic was my first love.

26 years later...ive got the new classic revamped game console, with 80 built in games. the picture is normal, fits great on the screen, the sound is shotty....but the hero remains the same.

boogerman, earthworm jim, awesome oppossum, all eventually. Sonic: the same original i own on ds, ive gathered (now 4) genesis's since then, yet...this brings me back. im thrilled to be sitting here playing it!

The song is music to my ears. The new revamped sonic, and calling "Dr. Robotnik" by this ""Eggman" name just has no appeal. For the real heros pixels went so fast, he blurred as you put him on pause. He had ONE tough expression.

He, is a part of my childhood that ill never forget!

Be scared

This afternoon as I came inside the house, stuff started to fall apart. I walk into the bathroom and step barefooted on a micro piece of glass.  I get into the shower and cut myself so bad shaving behind the knee that I get blood everywhere and didn't stop the bleeding for 15 minutes. Get out of the shower and burn my face and hand on a sausage before I went to my friends house. 
Remember..I'm not only a licensed legal driver, but a registered voter who works with the elderly and vulnerable.
You're future is in my hands too, people :)

my rough draft of a "mustache jello mold" poem for my neighbors this year.

Since I missed it when you moved in so many months ago I decided now the time was right this poem I shall flow. For jello molds are custom for all neighbors around especially from this one who makes one too many sounds. I picked the mustache shape so you would remember who its from I surely hope you do not think this shape is rather dumb. Mustaches may be trendy but this trend I have set However, I am here to make sure you would never forget. How much you are loved, and how you are all my friends. you might think i would say "until the very end?" well a non cliche poet, is what I like to show my poems go on forever, they flow and flow and flow. I keep getting off topic very typical for me, just enjoy your jello mold.

It is what it is.

I hate that moment in time when you start to miss someone almost instantly. Something happens, a song comes on the radio and your brain works into overdrive. I've lost a lot of people in life. I try not to let little things in life bother me, but then the song comes on o some kind of smell is in the air. Then you think of that time, the place, the setting. The reminder of old buildings, raddy hotels, his perfectly styled black hair. The fact that he looked like Billy Warlock only much more handsome. His deep voice, handsome polo, tanned skin with a body underneath that shirt that one could only find in a magazine. Mostly, the fact that we had so much in common we did not know if conversation would ever end. Then you miss the opportunity to have gotten to know eachother. As silly as it sounds, I certainly felt something. My brain does play mean tricks on me, often in fact. But now in college enrollments and more assigned clients and tasks at work. Every once and a while, I have to stop and recollect that moment in time and wonder why we grew apart. When there was..so much potential to grow together. I had a dream about him last night, woke up and realized there was still no communication between him. It kinda hurts still. I never could tell you why it hurts so much, but it is what it is.

Rest in peace, Whitney Heichel. They found her dead tonight.

A press conference just came on tv announcing the death of the local missing female, Whitney Heichel. She was found dead on Larch Mountain, they have a suspect they arrested that they believe is the guy responsible. I feel and pray tonight for her husband, the rest of her family and her friends. I am in shock, and disbelief listening to this press conference on tv. She was only 21 years young, a barista, Trying to make a living, and could not even live that much life here on earth with us. Rest in peace.

How can we change the world? step 1.

I think in honor of disabilities month...we should all do what we can to make a difference. People do not think we are powerful enough but we can. Lets take it to a whole new step, and make it diversity month. My idea is: everytime you see someone online on a fourm or a meme making fun of someone who is: of ANY race, creed, religion, any kind of disability (physical or mental) you report them. Lets make facebook a little bit, nicer. Who is up for the challenge? how to change the world, step 1. kinkysoandso.blogspot.com That is my first installment on how I can contribute, and help others to contribute to making the world a better place. If you have ANY IDEAS feel free to send them to me. Also, if you wanna take that above paragraph too facebook or anywhere, feel free. chiliconholly@gmail.com and ill post them here or link your blog in one of my entries. Thanks everyone. Hope this new idea helps. I have been wanting to see some changes in the world.

Out of a memoir...

As I whistfully leave with my blue scrubs on and prepare to do my next task...its a day where a strong flavored tuna sandwich wedge and the cool breeze in the air reminds me of the San Franciso breeze..I reminice on what might have been.

Redwood forest and Paul McCartney

YouTube link.

So it was a nice September  day and I was going through the Redwoods forest. It was my first trip there and I was extremely excited. I got out after being in a car for several hours, and stretched my legs and bones. As I get there they are about to close the trees of mystery walking tour. I venture  into the gift shop and the song starts playing. I glanced over and I see this man standing there. I remember his dark eyes and his innocent looking face. Why I do not know but he was staring at the press penny machine. I was across from him trying to pick out the first shot glass to add to my collection from the strip. Being in a brand new place a brand new state and observing everything and everyone around me, for some reason now when I hear this song I think of that exact moment. It's called let em in by Paul McCartney in the wings. I heard this song before and knew the artist. I did not know the title so I had trouble finding it. last night I was on a journey to find the title of the song by 1 single instrumental rift. A rift that I have been whistling for many weeks now. I admit this is not 1 of my best writing pieces. Yet it like the moment in time means a lot to me.

Nervous about my future.

I have been a caregiver for about a year and a half to two years now. Where I like it, I also..do not. Saying "I do not like to be a caregiver" in those words, probably makes me sound extremely insensitive. I just feel like ,it is not the job for me. Where I care about people, I make sure they are in good spirits, well cleaned up while respecting their diginity and boundaries to the best of their needs and my limits, its not the job for me. I should be in an environment with various chances to socialize with many people. The opportunity for my life to go in a direction that suits me a little better sounds like something I need to strive for. Even if its target night freight, with animals, my calling is not where I am. My spirit keeps telling me it is time to move on. So here I am, applying and applying. Planning on keeping caregiving on the side (im down to one client and a few more subs I am close too). I do want some other job, to make more money and do something a little more in my natural realm. So its back too this little short complied list of things that I am going to conduct. I give you: A. Nodding off on my computer while listening to Elton John and a half written app in front of me. B. Awkward interviews C. Lack of self motivation to complete those applications. D. The "friend connect" I always start up (texting everyone looking for work who is hiring). E.Attempts of not sounding too cocky or too self-conscious on the questionnaires F. We all know what F stands for...that 4 letter word exclaimed after a few days go by and no one has called back your name on a job :) G. What is a ligitimate job offer..and what is not. What kind of struggles do you have with applying for jobs and landing them?

To Eddie:

We've never met before, but I can see your eyes so deep. As you follow me around, and before you go to sleep. You'll carry a security plush, and look to me for approval. I'll probably scrub your scruffy head and call you a little noodle. One day ill get to meet you, tho now your just an egg. I'll discipline you properly and teach you not to beg. Often I dream about, my own child to hold. Who I can hand a fleece blanket too when you feel so cold. Who I can tuck inside your bed, and gently kiss your beautiful head. Then when I lay myself down for the night, ill pray to God all holy that you'll grow up alright :)

The Big C.

College. a place for..pizza eaters, beer drinkers, students that have a career in mind..and now..me as well. Im excited..really. I filled out my first of many fourms..and I feel like..this huge thing is going to hit me, actually happening in front of my eyes. So far..id like to major in Journalism, and minor in business. Business will open up my opportunities too : make my own publication company (as in newspaper or real online blogging system where me and other writers join forces to entertain). Start my food cart ive been dreaming of for years, switch it all over and get into advertising..or. The skies the limits. i feel like..I picked JUST THE RIGHT major/minor..it just did not f ully hit me til now. So like a ton of bricks..I got my ass in gear, got motivated, and here I am talking of my adventures. FAFSA: Check. now..to apply myself in simple things like putting my shoes away...anotha story!

my confession poem to being an app addict :)

I decided to get online..and click a button that says play. Then all of a sudden, my mind was corrupt by this app everyday. I could not stop the clicking, my mouse was even sticking. but as i collected points and coins, and the computer went boinga boing. I realized I had a problem. Yet as I type this poem, I realized uh no uhhm? I forgot to upgrade my convenience store...I feel like an app whore! Im stuck on button after button ,of useless app and mutton. I could make better use of my time, says the person writing this corny rhyme. but its back to..simcity.

Finding inspiration one page at a time

Last night I was semi productive, ive missed writing. Its like, an old flame coming alive again in my heart. It has been very lonely without that piece of my life. Granted, ive set it aside for other things, but its still a very active part of me. I had a kick where I was browsing those cute little urban overly-advertised riddled magazines. For Seattle, one of the many is city art. Tho that is more classy then Portland's Mercury magazine. They are free, you can usually find them at the ends of stores and artsy fartsy hallways, and they are always full of bands and little quips. Some of those posses very interesting articles that really like to grab a hold of my eye and make me laugh out loud. They also help me feel for a cause that I otherwise had never noticed. Basically, its often the kind of writing I strive for. A kind of humor, that might seem a little twisted. Yet, it grabs the readers eye in such a way, you do not want to put the piece of writing down. So I started snipping, anything to save my writers block curse. For a while now, tho ive just been satisfied with my pieces. I cannot say that I have been proud of them, they have not turned out in a way that I have intended for them. Even the piece I am writing, its so far deeming itself as decent, but I do not have the same self pride for the pieces of writing that I once possessed. Anyways, I used an old photo album that my Mom and Dad gave my sister. She was going to get rid of it, I was surprised seeing as it was signed "Mom and Dad" (my father has been gone for several years). I figured taking it was a sign. Its a really basic scrap book style single paged album, and im convinced that I will put various things in there to inspire me to want to write more, go to more shows. Printing businesses. There is a map of Portland art galleries (I am not familiar b ut would like to be) and find that part of me I let slip between the cracks as life runs away. Well see, on those days I feel less inspired or struggle mentally in creating what I conduct in my head. On those days I feel a little lost but want to create, i will open it up and hope that something that I found in the past will help kick me in the right direction. Until then, ill just keep writing these boring articles, looking for myself in each word. Maybe I should give poetry a try, but I sure do miss the wildfire, free style writing and the ability to write a decent article. Lets see.

Summertime activities to do with children.

Im lucky enough to spend the summer with one of my nephews this year, lets hope it is going to be a blast! Here are some random summer activities we have decided we want to do together: build a go kart with the bike tires (i have two old ones, getting new ones for my bmx and needing two more) he wants a breaking system :) customizable bingo, with his fav characters and ten boards so his friends can play. make out of styrofoam board and pieces too customizable search and make other mario crafts including: make styrofoam character center pieces (like on instructables dot com) paint rocks, let him sell them for a dollar a piece when I go selling my art at different random bazarrs, fairs around town. different characters and silly and mean faces. get those little beads, and let him do coasters with them in 8 and 16 bit pixel characters from his favorite game. Get his fair entry ready, let him make a big project to enter. let him use my old digital camera and do his own stop motion or claymation video. waterbottle raft. cardboard fort out of old record sleeves, or make shelves out of them? OR outdoor fort out of wooden pallets. overhead projector design in his room, let him trace it onto his wall and paint it, or in bathroom too.

Broken laptop keyboards mean forced internet exiles

Back from my accidental internet exile! Well, I had a keyboard on my laptop break down. No big deal except: I promised to promote a bunch of other spray painters like myself on my art and photography page on facebook. So I was forced to flake in the middle of that, I was talking to my online friend and duck expert about an infection my duck has in her foot, so there I go flaking again. Its all gravy tho, it was kinda peaceful without the noise of my clicking keys. Evipparently, they want me to pay around 100 dollars to get my laptop fixed, wheras fred meyers has plug in keyboards for about thirteen dollars. Where I want to get my actual laptop fixed (portability for the win!). Ive decided that saving 77 dollars is the way to go for now since I decided to use my paycheck for groceries and bills and lots of boring adult things. So the advantage to having a movable keyboard is: that i can lay in bed without a warm laptop right in my face. The disadvantage, is that i have to bend over a lot to use the stylus on my computer, and bending over hurts the already bad back. So here I am, ready to get back to the promoting of myself and others art this week, Also need to get out and spray paint! I have a big announcement coming in another blog in the next few days. Stay tuned, unless of course, you already know whats coming for me in June :) ITS HUGE, not a baby, or an engagement, or a vacation, but huge :)

Modern and past film and life.

Its funny how they always say movies are dramatized. Yet, there are few things more dramatic then reality tv! I was watching a movie called "Chances are" with Robert Downey jr and Cybil Shepard, and lately i have been on a kick of focusing on peoples mannerisms. I notice who says please, who says thank you, how people act and treat eachother. Maybe its my weak attempt of gathering my own life lessons from movies :) One thing I did notice...is that the way men treat women and vice versa was different in the past.I do not just mean because of Hollywood, but if you watch a similar love story now, you will see very different things. Things such as, how much more tolerant, respectful they are of eachother. Obviously, that factor varies from movie to movie, but lets use this example here. RBJ pushed away the girl who he was starting to date when she went to kiss him. Naturally, and in modern tv shows and movies..she might have easily gotten up and screamed GET OUT!!! and freaked out on him. Called him a user, a slut, accused him of cheating and using her to sleep at her place, and thrown an all out American girl hissy fit. Also, the quirkyness in movies are a lot less frowned upon back then. Someone could think they are someone else's past life, and they would have them committed, or it could easily get violent in modern films. In the past films though, they are simply given awkward looks. Maybe talked about mildly to their faces or behind their backs. To me, older films are not just crappier sound and film and vhs quality. They are a depiction of a milder form and how life generally used to be.

Wardrobe malfunction

im a pack rat. I HATE when people refer to me as a hoarder, there is a difference. I dont have pizza boxes and dead rodents lining the walls of my home, I simply own too much stuff (and regularly get rid of trash and recycling, various recepticals) yet..its to the point of zero to barely any floor space. The process of elimination has been too much. I never know what to get rid of? where to start? etc etc. I was proud of myself today, ended up ridding around 10 tshirts. Ive decided that my clothes are younger then my birthdate, and that its time to change that within myself. I could do better, and i have been checking threadless (Figuring id get a few and just rotate more instead of completely get lost in whatever clothes I do possess currently). Hopefully with any luck, ill be able to get rid of even more shirts/tanks. Then, I can move forward in the process that is my room. Hopin, Wishin, but praying for bigger things.

Draw Something..my latest app craze.

While I make Andrew take my turn with Curtis in "draw something" (The app) we add eachother and he starts a game. Granted, Curtis is awesome..but he never texts back unless he doesn't understand a picture, it was amusing minutes later when he decided to text back lol. Anyways, I get Andrew totally addicted..and as cute as he is, he cannot draw very well..but is still a good sport about playing. My littlest nephew are along with me, so i try to keep the lingo and wording cleaner in his presence, we can only go so far! I see...two items. one is the word MARLY, and the other is a joint..tho I did not realize that until our discussion. Andrew: what does that look like to you? Holly: a beta-fish! Andrew: laughs. what do you associate with Marley? Holly: mmmmmmmm the dog! and the movie. Nephew: I thought of the movie too! Andrew: and? Holly: dreadlocks Andrew: and? Holly: weed! and you didn't spell Marley right Andrew: I know Nephew: what is that? :points to drawn joint picture: Holly: A beta-fish! Andrew: LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY TOGETHER WITH HOLLY. H: im not real good with drug references... A: I figured! H: :whispers: weed..ganja...mary jane...420...pot..hemp? i dont know!! Andrew: Its BUDDHA!!! H: BUDDHA??? I associate him with plates of food at the nail places..and the big green guy A: but I didnt wanna draw the big green guy. lol. no comment. We sure had a blast yesterday though :)

common.

chatterboxes.

big grins.

permanently angry at our exs.

pissed off easily, yet softhearted.

groups of people of all kinds excite us.

likes to complain, but have a positive attitude.

speaks with hands.

high energy.

loves/needs to socialize.

Naturally happy.

laughs easily.

smart.

technology dependant:

loves angry birds and facebook.

surrounded by drama non stop in some way shape or form.

enjoys eachothers company and attention.

smaller type of people.

textaholic.

tempermental.

lovable too.

interest in other people.

compassionate/forgiving.

Im impressed.

Why Max could never be my wingwoman.

So, im falling fast for this guy. He works semi close, Lets just say his name is Andrew..because the odds of him ever reading this blog are very slim.

He happens to work about a mile from my house. Which is awesome. Maxwell and I are always out walking. For those of you that do not know me, Max is my troublesome inquisitive cute but abnoxious border collie.

So, Silly me. I decide to drop in today to drop off a paper for a different employee. My muse is in.

He walks to the door, I exclaim I do not want to come in because I have stinky with me (did I mention Max is due for a grooming, natty dread-y, and quite stinky from living much of his life outdoors?)

Anyways, whereas most people wouldnt bring a smelly dog to a persons place they are certainly interested in, i guess im a little different.

So, first.. it goes like this:

Hey Andrew...could you give this paper ::YANK:: Max! stop it!! Sorry Andrew...could you give this ::jerks back:: MAX!! Sorry......I am so sorry.

Andrew laughs, he seemingly likess dogs but stood in front of the door. The machine next door kept scaring Max, so he told us to come in (after I finished explaining why I was there).

I bring him in, hes stinkier then he seems. While he reeks up the store, and begins farting (clearly he was as nervous as I was). I begin to turn red. REALLY praying that Andrew does not think that the odor is coming from me.
a
I warned Max ahead of time..but I can give you a million stories to how that dog has done something embarrassing or dangerous through the years...more then any dog I have ever owned in my life.

Anyways...as my embarrassment goes on, Max finally settles down.

Andrew and I start talking..my prime goal was to compliment his smile he kept showing me. As I ease the conversation into that..I hear a THUD.

I look behind me, Maxwell is standing his front feet on the ice cream case.

I yank him off gently, and get back to my conversation, clearly..my dignity was not there with me that night.

Andrew and I continue our convo, I laugh because Max kept staring at his reflection in the beer case...he puts his front feet on the counter in front between Andrew and I.

I giggle and so does he..I again say "Max get down!"

So he wanders off again, Andrew gets out one of those beef jerky silver dollars and sets it on the counter..he calls Max back to the counter, Max puts his front feet up, grabs the silver dollar, takes it to the floor..and GAGS this REALLY loud barf gag.

My dignity ran off, met me at home with my dinner later. I told Max "PLEASE dont throw up in the store, boy"

Andrew laughs again. Thank God he has a good sense of humor. I then exclaim that I better get him home and go eat dinner, afraid of what Max could pull as I would leaving.

I then told Andrew id see him later in the week, and left.

That, is why my dog is probably the worlds worst wingwoman...but I love that stinky furball anyway.

Bob Ross, the original hipster?

So, I have always related Bob Ross to the city of Portland OR. Having grown up next door to it, I recall it being a place where the hippies and artists united and gathered. The artists, free spirited. As much as I make fun of it, some of the people are pretty awesome. Tho I still prefer the attitude of Seattle, the hospitality and friendliness they offer compared to the rest, I also believe that Portland has a definate oddball way of living.

Of course, we are talking about hipster town, so I question: was Bob Ross the original hipster?. White guy, artsy-fartsy...not afraid to be free spirited. As he beats his paintbrush against the bar to shake the water at it, giggles and says "HAHA! just beat the devil out of it!" I noticed how funky/trendy he truly is. A lot of people have made fun of his cheery disposition as the years have gone by. Now, part of his character, his look and odd ways..are trendy.

Fuzzy beard, afro...striped button up shirt are only the visuals. Everything else, kind of explains itself at that point. Looking at him as a man, and not just a guy with fancy brush strokes.. hes so masculant. In terms of, he really is not afraid to have a soft side. Give his pictures character...love his squirrels, and load his paintbrush with gorgeous colors and verbal BLUPS! and happy little trees.

Anyways...unfortunately, Bob Ross left us long ago from lymphoma. His legacy though, and skill/ability will hopefully be an inspiration to all people, hipsters and non hipsters alike.

My Cats as people.

My cats if they were people:

Tigger would be the druggie, the coke addict, the one who has tried everything under the sun, and possibly even a dealer.

Baxter would be the quiet, oddball one who sits and watches tv most of the time, and is a little bit slower then the rest and sneaky, but likeable too.

Mr Jingles would be: the wise ass, the leader, control freak...the guy who is the Don of the mafia. Kind of like, Sonny on General hospital. Kind, gentle, but if you cross him, you're going to get whacked!

Tucker would be the funny kid, trying every sport in the world. Toying with all the girls and using his charm to get what he wants. Maybe even a car theif, criminal mastermind.

Oliver: well, he would be the guy who helps the criminal. THe guy who hops in the passenger seat as Tucker is stealing the car.

Lily: she would be the snob. Only shops at Hollister, or Aeropostale on Thursdays. Yet, always keeping her twin brothers in check. Keeping them clean, playing mama cat, but yet all the same, just being a priss in her off time.

Im a mess LOL

Personality Disorder Test Results Paranoid |||||||||||||||||||| 90% Schizoid |||||||||||| 50% Schizotypal |||||||||||||||||||| 86% Antisocial |||||||||||||||||||| 86% Borderline |||||||||||||||||| 78% Histrionic |||||||||||||||||| 78% Narcissistic |||||||||| 38% Avoidant |||||||||||||||||| 74% Dependent |||||||||||| 50% Obsessive-Compulsive |||||||||||||||| 62%

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I love Portlandia. ( i took this from them and brought it over)

Fred: remember the 90s when everyone was pickling their own vegetables, and brewing their own bear...growing out their mutton chops, and waxing their handle bar mustaches? yeah everyone was knitting, and wearing glasses all the time, like contact lenses were never invented. :sings: The dream of the 1890's is alive in Portlannddddd. microbrew or die! :speaks: when children grew up to be artisan bakers, everyone had home made haircuts, and guys shaved with straight razors?

Carrie: yeah I dont remember it, but i remember reading about it.

belts didnt really exist yet, everyone wore suspendors, carved their own ice cubes.

Carrie: I thought that died out 120 years ago

Fred: :sideways smirk: not in Portland.

sings its the dream of the

remember the 1890s when the economy was in a tailspin? unwashed young men roamed the streets looking for work? and people turned their back on huge corporate monopolys and supported local businesses?

Carrie: I thought we had to support local corporations! i thought they were to big to fail!

Fred:
well in Portland, people raise their own chickens and cure their own beef!

:sings dream of the 1890s is in Portland, the skinny is strong and alive in Portland:

Carrie: so from what your saying, its like president McKinley was never assassinated? its like the 20th century never happened?

Fred: exactly.

Carrie: people rode streetcars, and inconvenient Penny Farthing bicycles that hurt your back?

Fred: Yeah!

Charlie Day deleted his twitter.

You know, I was one of those fans that sat and watched the whole thing unfold on twitter and at my tag (lovepirate9) I did ask him to retweet me. Basic version of the story: Charlie Day was talking to his fans... and people kept asking and asking him to retweet them and say Hi. He retweeted for a while...then he got seemingly frustrated..and made a comment about deleting his twitter account. So...my theories are: A. He left to spend more time with his son who was about to be born (and his wife). That may have been a semi-graceful exit? B. the constant tweets drove him insane (not that he shouldn't have expected a lot of replies..people love him!) Thats juat about all. Honestly..this blog sucks. However..there are fewer things more frustrating then writing up a giant blog..and it disappointing after you hit POST.

NO ONE should stand in the way of your dreams.

The other day, I was at a nice dinner with my family. Looking at the blow up alcoholic advertisements that were above us in the restaurant... I thought of one of my many inventive ideas that I consistently come up with but ends up going nowhere but a side thought that I think of often again and again.

My Mom butts in (oh I love her, but shes good at popping my idea bubbles) with “Don't you think that idea has already been thought of by some great inventor?” “Do you see your name next too GREAT INVENTOR or AUTHOR or something?” and “Being a dreamer gets you no where in life, your Dad was like that too and he never had a thing in life.” and something about me having my head in the clouds, I don't know, it was all kind of a blur as the conversation flowed.

Of course, segments of her words of wit used to have a way of dragging me down, but since ive aged ive learned when to ignore her opinions, and when to listen to her respectfully. As a kid, I idolized her, everything she said was right, and of course I flopped back and forth through the years.Then as a teenager, nothing she said was right, and now as a young adult we are not always on the same page, but I see where she is coming from a lot more. I have my idea on life and what I want to do with myself, completely different then what she has/had. Shes realistic, gets up, goes to work everyday and has an idea, that that is what life is suppose to be, that is the only way to make a living.

So, if my coffee cup can keep my coffee warm for hours after I brew it in the morning, if my client with very low circulation can have a device to keep her warm as she rests in the AM, if I can access an entire world of life at my fingertips and a keyboard, and do so from a phone, if I can take a pill to make a bad stomache or headache go away, then there must be more potential products just waiting for the right idea to boost it, right?

Anyways, yes, I do see my name next to author one day, nothing wrong with that, right? Inventor, not at all, but I do have some innovative products on the brain, I obviously have a lack of motivation issue (really, sitting blogging like this even takes a special kind of fire up my ass that I wish I felt more often because writing is something I enjoy).

Yeah, my Dad was a dreamer. He also had other issues that I believe were in result of him not being able to have much. He also was young when he passed away in a terrible truck accident when some idiot fell asleep behind the wheel. he never had the chance too show off what he could do, I am not sure, and will never know if he had what it takes, but I do know, that I can live that dream for him, since he never had the chance.

There are days I wake up, get to my morning client, and ask myself “what am I going to do the rest of my life?” I do not mind my job now, its stable, I have met some wonderful people, I also plan on sticking with it through school, or a big product endorsement, and even while I expand my art business thats in the works. I just feel as if, one of these inventive crazy as shit ideas of mine, can take off. Something that can help someone in need, or a new product that will be (even if) not a hit, available for those that want it.

I see nothing wrong with wanting to have a great future for my kids. I want to one day be able to make enough money to start Eddie's college fund (and my other future not conceived quite yet kids as well) and be able to take them places all around the US, and Disney trips of course :) anyways, dreamer or not, I see nothing wrong with trying. I do not want 80 something years of dreams that go no where, I want to be able to turn one into something special. Will I get that opportunity and do I have it in me? Well see.