learning to live again, is killing me (to quote the great Garth Brooks)
Smartest decision of my life COULD BE been when i decided to use my gift card my
Mom insisted i used when i go out with my friends on my family. Everyone talked about wanting "all you can eat" shrimp but being broke, i said for the oompteenth time "ive got a gift card, lets just use it!". So we did, I sat down, few minutes later, his steamy dark brown eyes met mine, I grinned and thought "ive seen you before, but suddenly, i feel something stronger this time" We do our thing, take our order. To put some of me in this situation, and my being of the NOTORIOUS P.I.G that I am, finds that a great way to get an attractive man would be pound down 6 orders of all you can eat shrimp, is that a good way to get his positive attention when you eat like a tank?? Anyways, he laughs at my jokes, corney as they may be, he finds them funny, but that look. Ive only gotten that look one other time in my life, and everyone here knows just who that is. This guy, he gave me this look right before he left my table. His dark eyes met my dark eyes, and we both grinned this huge grin. Him with his beautiful teeth, and me and my "spongebobs" ::giggles like Spongebob::. His short dark hair matched his dark brown eyes perfectly, and mostly, his continuing to laugh at my jokes and grin at me around the table. (tee hee hee)
We had 2 moments, where our eyes met eachother in a "special" way, where neither of us could start smiling, then I knew. I know there was something there that he probably felt too.
I sit in awe, this feeling stands familar even tho i wasnt wanting to be anything but feel the freedoms of single-hood. i had Krys, Jennie, Allen, practically alling in a chorus line of "Desperado" by The Eagles (GOOD SONG!) telling me to try, try again in my skeptical-ness, i refused. Suddenly, im feeling geeky. Friends are now tellin me "go back in there! slip him your number on a piece of paper!" (thanks Josh and Jennie for that suggestion), or "ask him what hes doing after work!!!!" (Coco!) and someone tied to my past who ill leave her annonymous because she will want it that way, gladly tell me she is happy for me to find someone.
Of course ive had crushes, people ive found attractive in the last several months, however, no one (but one other person in my entire life) has ever given me THAT look, it wasnt a look of shock and awe at all those shrimped i pigged down ::pig squeal::, it wasnt a look of "please leave me a good tip!" (im not bill payer, but i got the special attention!), and it wasn't the expression of "you just spilled your drink all over the table, dumbass" (its true yes, my mom tried to throw salt in it, child!), it was a look that screamed "I like you, I think" or "im interested" either that, or as usual, im reading to far into things..
So, after eating all that shell-fish-goodness, and dropping a full iced tea across the table soaking all of our napkins 10 minutes into my visit, i still wasnt thrown out of the restaurant, thats the first good sign :) and that is SOOO TYPICAL of my behavior when im around someone I am interested in..
It feels good, going down that road, someone potentially feeling what you are feeling but for now its a mystery in itself. If its a no, "Ryan" and I were not meant to be ::throws that fish in the ocean if that the case:: If it is a yes, I would hope all my girly friends will leave me dear picture comments when i start posting the mushy-snuff all over again and then i can show him my blog :D
Im stepping onto the field, lets hit a home run this time, ill be excited if i dont have to ship "Cuban-sperm" afterall.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Shooting for DA MOON (and shooting THE MOON, Im proud of this blog of mine)
Da Moon Da Moon!
So, im out there shooting the moon, not shooting for the moon, allthough im writing this very bl og today to compare the two. Last Febuary I got a good deal on a BLUE video camera, a flash camcorder called a JVC Evario (im talkin, i paid about 125 bucks for a 400 dollar camera because it was the model being clearanced out and the display). I also have a tripod that ive had for a while, that ive appropriately named TROUBLE, im not real great on "balancing" things, from walking, to myself, to my friendships or whatever to others, etc. So we have the rotten "balance" im also a terrible "focuser" and lining up things for me arent perfect either. I stay zoomed in too long (as is life and my video camera) and newsflash: IM NOT PERFECT. If you are, go home right now, because you have NO reason to be reading this blog.
Anyways, im out there shootin this beautiful Harvest moon (a 20 year rarity) I decide to pull for trouble, but also what keeps me grounded, and that is my camera tripod. For me, capturing the perfect moment, no errors, no screw ups, is something I strive for, sometimes a little too hard, and sometimes a little too "high expectation-ed". Im trying to get THE PERFECT CLOSE UP of that moon, my damn tripod is floppin everywhere, nothing is going smoothly, and i focus it, and lose the shot, pan back out, and back and forth back and forth as how life goes. I panned this video back and forth camera so many fkin times, im not even kidding. As life faded into a dark cloud (err i mean the moon not life) Finally, after struggling and struggling, i decide, screw it, I dont need the PERFECT shot, I panned it out so i could see the full moon, to the left hand side a little bit, and I got my decent shot. It wasnt what I expected, as is life is never what you expect, its suppose to be better....is it???? Anyways, the shot turned out nice, being on the tripod, it was steady and even tho not totaly in the middle, Not zoomed in as far as I was trying, I got my camera to sit steady on this pic of the moon, and it wasnt what i wanted originally, but it turned out beautifully, as is life does sometimes.
One of my favorite songs (and artists) is "Life ain't always beautiful (but its a beautiful ride)" by Gary Allan, it goes
and the struggles make you stronger
and the changes make you wise
and happiness has its own way, of taking its sweet time
no life aint always beautiful
but i know ill be fine
life aint always beautiful, but its a beautiful ride.
While im referencing songs, lets go over one of my fav Kenny Chesney songs called "Never gonna feel that way again"
Its my life and its sure funanother season of my lifes begun
another race im glad i get to run
another chapter of my lifes arrived
tho im never gonna feel that way again
time rushin by me like the wind
ill never feel as young as i was then
no im never gonna feel that way again.
Life rushes by as you know it ( dont blink is another song of his with a similar topic) and parts of life is shit, it really is, but i guess if we have to dance in the dung to feel the sunshine, we have to embrace those sunny moments a little bit more, even if we have to pan, and watch our moon hide behind a dark cloud, just keep panning in and out, until you get something you can settle for.So true, life can be a pain in the neck, a thorn in my side, a jackass or two stomping on your parade and pissing in your coco puffs. but, really, the ride through is rather stellar, the friends laughters, families smiles, the dogs wagging their tails, and certain chapters of our lives (not the pages we tear from it). I have happy moments of this chapter, but of course, am ready for a new adventure, I do need that extra, but ill enjoy the pages of this book for now to the best of my ability.
So, im out there shooting the moon, not shooting for the moon, allthough im writing this very bl og today to compare the two. Last Febuary I got a good deal on a BLUE video camera, a flash camcorder called a JVC Evario (im talkin, i paid about 125 bucks for a 400 dollar camera because it was the model being clearanced out and the display). I also have a tripod that ive had for a while, that ive appropriately named TROUBLE, im not real great on "balancing" things, from walking, to myself, to my friendships or whatever to others, etc. So we have the rotten "balance" im also a terrible "focuser" and lining up things for me arent perfect either. I stay zoomed in too long (as is life and my video camera) and newsflash: IM NOT PERFECT. If you are, go home right now, because you have NO reason to be reading this blog.
Anyways, im out there shootin this beautiful Harvest moon (a 20 year rarity) I decide to pull for trouble, but also what keeps me grounded, and that is my camera tripod. For me, capturing the perfect moment, no errors, no screw ups, is something I strive for, sometimes a little too hard, and sometimes a little too "high expectation-ed". Im trying to get THE PERFECT CLOSE UP of that moon, my damn tripod is floppin everywhere, nothing is going smoothly, and i focus it, and lose the shot, pan back out, and back and forth back and forth as how life goes. I panned this video back and forth camera so many fkin times, im not even kidding. As life faded into a dark cloud (err i mean the moon not life) Finally, after struggling and struggling, i decide, screw it, I dont need the PERFECT shot, I panned it out so i could see the full moon, to the left hand side a little bit, and I got my decent shot. It wasnt what I expected, as is life is never what you expect, its suppose to be better....is it???? Anyways, the shot turned out nice, being on the tripod, it was steady and even tho not totaly in the middle, Not zoomed in as far as I was trying, I got my camera to sit steady on this pic of the moon, and it wasnt what i wanted originally, but it turned out beautifully, as is life does sometimes.
One of my favorite songs (and artists) is "Life ain't always beautiful (but its a beautiful ride)" by Gary Allan, it goes
and the struggles make you stronger
and the changes make you wise
and happiness has its own way, of taking its sweet time
no life aint always beautiful
but i know ill be fine
life aint always beautiful, but its a beautiful ride.
While im referencing songs, lets go over one of my fav Kenny Chesney songs called "Never gonna feel that way again"
Its my life and its sure funanother season of my lifes begun
another race im glad i get to run
another chapter of my lifes arrived
tho im never gonna feel that way again
time rushin by me like the wind
ill never feel as young as i was then
no im never gonna feel that way again.
Life rushes by as you know it ( dont blink is another song of his with a similar topic) and parts of life is shit, it really is, but i guess if we have to dance in the dung to feel the sunshine, we have to embrace those sunny moments a little bit more, even if we have to pan, and watch our moon hide behind a dark cloud, just keep panning in and out, until you get something you can settle for.So true, life can be a pain in the neck, a thorn in my side, a jackass or two stomping on your parade and pissing in your coco puffs. but, really, the ride through is rather stellar, the friends laughters, families smiles, the dogs wagging their tails, and certain chapters of our lives (not the pages we tear from it). I have happy moments of this chapter, but of course, am ready for a new adventure, I do need that extra, but ill enjoy the pages of this book for now to the best of my ability.
Friday, September 10, 2010
Women saying the C word
Women saying the C word (for all of you Women everywhere even you men would love this, pass this on?)
by Holly Miller on Monday, August 2, 2010 at 3:24am
Women saying the C word
You know, ive been around (hardy fucking har) but never in my life, have i heard more women comfortable with the C word...now, mind you, I am just now getting used to that idea and concept of it being as commonly used as BITCH or WHORE or SKANK. Is it becoming common for women to drop the C-Bomb because we as women run into many of "those" and feel compelled to express it in that harsh matter, or are we just getting more dirtier in our terms over time?
Sometimes I wonder, there are several "women" barbarians out there I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to get in their face and go "you are a "C**t you bitch hoe skank butt!", now have I felt obliged to do that yet, no, but that day gets closer the more and more I do. Women are atrocious, they dress in little skimpy clothes with their legs spread open, they sleep one man after another after another thinking that if they keep looking for more they wil find what they seek, and they just keep going and going and going, like, Ron Jeremy in a cheap porno flick.
They fake and bake tan their large pear shaped asses, they bleach their hair til they look like the crypt keeper, and pull back every wrinkle on their face and stress over grey hairs and men being "worthy of helmets being worn on head with bib to wipe drool away". Yet, they stand aside, prove their innocence, put their lips on their mens familys asses as if they werent just talking shit about their mother in law, and as if they weren't swindling their husbands bank accounts for a new pair of red high heel shoes and some lipstick to make their ass look bigger, i mean to make themselves feel chipper.
and we TRY AND TRY AND TRY to look hot, its really disgusting, might as well lay in the middle of the road with our scantily clad outfits on, with a great big sign that says FUCK MEEEEE!!!! ALL NIGHT LONG!! ILL DO ANYTHING FOR YOU!!
Seriously, look at us, our biggest problem is how much larger our ass and stomach are getting, we run off to the gym, and run off to that damn gym, and for what? for us to drop a couple pounds that either the next baby born is going to bring back in full force like Darth Maul with his double edged light saber? or to look good to either pick up men or be attractive to the ones we have? Only following into their disgusting, shallow, traps?
Maybe if we were all huge, men (who are so freaking shallow) wouldn't complain about big chicks, I still like Queen's theory "fat bottomed girls, they make the rockin world go round!"
Im all about working out, losing weight, but I feel like, people around me are into it, so i should be too, isnt that how a lot of people start smoking or doing drugs? is losing weight an addiction and obligation for more women then something they just decide to do on their own? Look in the damn mirror ladies, its not that bad...
Im working out to build muscle, i dont wanna look all bulky, i just want to be fit and healthy, and im still thinking about this firefighter option as a career and need to start now if i even consider it.. I dont give a shit if a guy looks at me and goes "WOAH, that chick is a fucking blimp!" because in about 10 or 15 years, they're male pattern baldness and shrinking dick and beer belly will do me Justice just fine ;)
So, quit trying to be so hot ,and my friends wont be compelled to call you the C word, nor if ud stop throwing yourself at every guy who looks you in the face, and then playing the INNOCENT halo-riddled victim in every situation, POOR MEEEE and stop trying soo hard, we wouldn't have to call you horrible, tantilizing, mean spirited and dark names.
So Women, cheer up, YES your butt looks too big, yes, you look like a hooker stop trying so hard, wipe off that heavy eye liner, get your fat fuckin ass out of the tanning bed, and smile, enjoy life, go roll in the mud, enjoy the sunshine, and tell everyone else to go piss themselves with gleeful laughter from the injustice from their own issues.
Why is the C word acceptable now and not before? Time changes everything, observations are made, and face it, people are meaner, now go cry off your make up.
Im not attacking women, i cannot WAIT until i write my writing piece on men, it will probably be a lot more offensive and a lot stronger given my negative experiances with men.
but until then, im still not going to say the C word, unless someone really REALLY REALLY provokes me to do so. Or actually, probably not at all, see the halo?
by Holly Miller on Monday, August 2, 2010 at 3:24am
Women saying the C word
You know, ive been around (hardy fucking har) but never in my life, have i heard more women comfortable with the C word...now, mind you, I am just now getting used to that idea and concept of it being as commonly used as BITCH or WHORE or SKANK. Is it becoming common for women to drop the C-Bomb because we as women run into many of "those" and feel compelled to express it in that harsh matter, or are we just getting more dirtier in our terms over time?
Sometimes I wonder, there are several "women" barbarians out there I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to get in their face and go "you are a "C**t you bitch hoe skank butt!", now have I felt obliged to do that yet, no, but that day gets closer the more and more I do. Women are atrocious, they dress in little skimpy clothes with their legs spread open, they sleep one man after another after another thinking that if they keep looking for more they wil find what they seek, and they just keep going and going and going, like, Ron Jeremy in a cheap porno flick.
They fake and bake tan their large pear shaped asses, they bleach their hair til they look like the crypt keeper, and pull back every wrinkle on their face and stress over grey hairs and men being "worthy of helmets being worn on head with bib to wipe drool away". Yet, they stand aside, prove their innocence, put their lips on their mens familys asses as if they werent just talking shit about their mother in law, and as if they weren't swindling their husbands bank accounts for a new pair of red high heel shoes and some lipstick to make their ass look bigger, i mean to make themselves feel chipper.
and we TRY AND TRY AND TRY to look hot, its really disgusting, might as well lay in the middle of the road with our scantily clad outfits on, with a great big sign that says FUCK MEEEEE!!!! ALL NIGHT LONG!! ILL DO ANYTHING FOR YOU!!
Seriously, look at us, our biggest problem is how much larger our ass and stomach are getting, we run off to the gym, and run off to that damn gym, and for what? for us to drop a couple pounds that either the next baby born is going to bring back in full force like Darth Maul with his double edged light saber? or to look good to either pick up men or be attractive to the ones we have? Only following into their disgusting, shallow, traps?
Maybe if we were all huge, men (who are so freaking shallow) wouldn't complain about big chicks, I still like Queen's theory "fat bottomed girls, they make the rockin world go round!"
Im all about working out, losing weight, but I feel like, people around me are into it, so i should be too, isnt that how a lot of people start smoking or doing drugs? is losing weight an addiction and obligation for more women then something they just decide to do on their own? Look in the damn mirror ladies, its not that bad...
Im working out to build muscle, i dont wanna look all bulky, i just want to be fit and healthy, and im still thinking about this firefighter option as a career and need to start now if i even consider it.. I dont give a shit if a guy looks at me and goes "WOAH, that chick is a fucking blimp!" because in about 10 or 15 years, they're male pattern baldness and shrinking dick and beer belly will do me Justice just fine ;)
So, quit trying to be so hot ,and my friends wont be compelled to call you the C word, nor if ud stop throwing yourself at every guy who looks you in the face, and then playing the INNOCENT halo-riddled victim in every situation, POOR MEEEE and stop trying soo hard, we wouldn't have to call you horrible, tantilizing, mean spirited and dark names.
So Women, cheer up, YES your butt looks too big, yes, you look like a hooker stop trying so hard, wipe off that heavy eye liner, get your fat fuckin ass out of the tanning bed, and smile, enjoy life, go roll in the mud, enjoy the sunshine, and tell everyone else to go piss themselves with gleeful laughter from the injustice from their own issues.
Why is the C word acceptable now and not before? Time changes everything, observations are made, and face it, people are meaner, now go cry off your make up.
Im not attacking women, i cannot WAIT until i write my writing piece on men, it will probably be a lot more offensive and a lot stronger given my negative experiances with men.
but until then, im still not going to say the C word, unless someone really REALLY REALLY provokes me to do so. Or actually, probably not at all, see the halo?
facebook cures (tee hee hee)
Facebook cures Insomnia
For if your online, you aren't intending on sleeping, your just willingly awake
Facebook cures sleep apnia
because you cannot stop breathing in your sleep if your actually not asleep
Facebook cures trouble
am i out tagging peoples cars and abandoned buildings at 1 AM? nope. im at home facebooking
Facebook gets people to open up
where else would you post that you took a giant dump that looked like a tuba?
Facebook gets people fired
because your boss isn't a "fudge-compacter" when hes married and has 7 children
Facebook is educational
where else can you learn how to take out mobsters and pillage ships and harvest crops?
Facebook cures boredom
oh come on, you know you were looking at her new boyfriends pictures (opposite for you ladies) and had nothing better to do then to snoop that she works at the cineplex and if you weren't, you were just playing one of those flash games or posting a status about who the fuck knows what..
Personally: Facebook cures my phobias
because im yet to see anything dead or rats via facebook aside from a couple of crooky guys.
Facebook cures diarrea
How can you be defacating in a flushing bowl while typing at 50 WPM? go turbo go.
Facebook cures relationship problems
Girlfriend bothering you? send her a message and set your status to single, not a tear shed to your knowledge !!
Facebook cures the "Symptoms" of crabs
because, how can you itch with your fingers touching the keyboard? and if you can, remind me next time im over not to use your computer :)
Facebook lets you say things you cannot generally say
because, you have no other reason to call people "scantilly clad, no cloth between the legged, fancy seat-belt fastening escorts"
or
to tell him how mentally retarded he might be for trying to look hot using the internet
Facebook get people dates
because that 40 year old fat guy with cyphillis and a nact for 18 year old boys couldn't find one anywhere else.
and my last one..
facebook gets people friends, because otherwise, you bitches and whores and words i will not say would have no other reason to scan your beady little eyes over what I have written.
andddd I thank you :)
For if your online, you aren't intending on sleeping, your just willingly awake
Facebook cures sleep apnia
because you cannot stop breathing in your sleep if your actually not asleep
Facebook cures trouble
am i out tagging peoples cars and abandoned buildings at 1 AM? nope. im at home facebooking
Facebook gets people to open up
where else would you post that you took a giant dump that looked like a tuba?
Facebook gets people fired
because your boss isn't a "fudge-compacter" when hes married and has 7 children
Facebook is educational
where else can you learn how to take out mobsters and pillage ships and harvest crops?
Facebook cures boredom
oh come on, you know you were looking at her new boyfriends pictures (opposite for you ladies) and had nothing better to do then to snoop that she works at the cineplex and if you weren't, you were just playing one of those flash games or posting a status about who the fuck knows what..
Personally: Facebook cures my phobias
because im yet to see anything dead or rats via facebook aside from a couple of crooky guys.
Facebook cures diarrea
How can you be defacating in a flushing bowl while typing at 50 WPM? go turbo go.
Facebook cures relationship problems
Girlfriend bothering you? send her a message and set your status to single, not a tear shed to your knowledge !!
Facebook cures the "Symptoms" of crabs
because, how can you itch with your fingers touching the keyboard? and if you can, remind me next time im over not to use your computer :)
Facebook lets you say things you cannot generally say
because, you have no other reason to call people "scantilly clad, no cloth between the legged, fancy seat-belt fastening escorts"
or
to tell him how mentally retarded he might be for trying to look hot using the internet
Facebook get people dates
because that 40 year old fat guy with cyphillis and a nact for 18 year old boys couldn't find one anywhere else.
and my last one..
facebook gets people friends, because otherwise, you bitches and whores and words i will not say would have no other reason to scan your beady little eyes over what I have written.
andddd I thank you :)
A day in the life challenge.... Friday July 30th 2010
A day in the life challenge
::PERSONAL NOTE:: Creative writing at 3 something in the AM is not something im accustom too, so, this piece will probably be pretty plain minus my cop out ::action:: moments that I threw in during convos and moments i found funny of my day, so, have fun, and please do the same at a decent hour so you can be more creative then I :) ::end of personal note::
If your reading this, I challenge you to write a "day in the life" in AS MUCH DETAIL AS YOU CAN, of the very day you see this, and tag me and 20 more of your friends
Friday July 30th 2010
Wake up at 7:30, to the sound of water gushing..of course, at 7:30 in the AM, everything sounds like a dream, like i was standing atop Niagra falls (a place ive always wanted to visit) and had only sleeping a few hours anyways, it was weird. Mum yelled I CANT TURN THE WATER OFF, Im thinkin "o shit, this sounds like a not going back to bed moment" to me and more like an "holy fuck, emergency plumbing!" so, after a couple phone calls, they shut off our water, hicks comes out its all good. My brain is still in another dimension like a ACME Carrot falling in a vortex, or like an old 1940s transistor radio doing that, inner ear whopping sound, the dogs start barking, the plumbaa is here. Marley and Moe show off, ::lick face of stranger:: ::lick face of stranger:: "STOP IT" ::lick strangers arm:: ::make out with stranger:: "STOP IT PUPS! Come here!!" til I have to barracade the bathroom door, and he leaves, BOOM, finally sleep.
HA, no...after that Riley was so restless and barkey at the world outside, Holly didnt get much sleep at all, finally I awake with a BOOM (More like, a FUCK, GREAAATT, I can't sleep!) and Coty and his crew doing work outside, i step outside, still in my overly tired stooper, greet everyone briefly (im a bit anti social and weird when ive first woken up) and watch the beautiful work be done for a few. While LOLing over fake personal ads THANK YOU NOEMI !!
Then I came back into the house, and watched the latest conference on the Kyron Hormon case of the missing boy, ::many sighs expressed for the step mother:: my day went on, I spent some time with the chicys and ducks, and dogs, finished cleaning, meanwhile everyone made an excuse not to hangout with me (since no one except a couple went on with their "plans", i love being dismissed from everyones day)
Went out and admired my artwork ,showed it off to Alex finally who I had been meaning to show it too, find myself wandering over to next door to one my favorite smart-alec dude Allen's, and say "you should paint your quad" hes like "uhhh no" im like "uhh why not?" and we bantered about this for a few, then he hops on his quad "im gonna go play" "ooh, can you give me a ride home?" "Nope" "why not?" Nope :sassy and funny: cant you read the sign?" "oh please, its one house" :::voom voom, pulls out:: ::Holly runs:: waiiitttm pleeease? "okay, hurry it up" ::hops on edge to hop on back:: "OH NO, get on the front" "whaattt??" "yeah, its one house, get on the front" ::gets on front grill and screams bloody mary because of being on front:: "dude that was awesome THANK YOU!!!" ::voom voom, Allen takes off:: ::facebooks first brief quad ride::
Before I know it, I havent vacumed, or done any of the things I was suppose to do, I bum rush into it all, wel, you know, afterr checking some internet shenanigans like facebook and Phiten (I wants one!) I rushingly do things super fast,
:vacum:
:check phiten:
:vacum:
:check Theresas facebook reply:
:vacum:
:check Tanyas comment:
:unload dishwasher:
:check Krys's reply:
:finish dishwasher:
:tell Krys hes a fucking ratard on Todd's page:
:start laundry:
:excitingly glee at the fact that Krys is finally coming home from ft lewis:
:make the bed:
finish my housework/internet session, then feed dogs and carry on.
I end up delaying a few apps i decide to make up tomorrow. Then banter over what to eat at taco bell for dinner before my next plan.
Go to store with Coty to get remaining supplies needed for next week yard stuff, It was pretty fun, we had a few good chats about trucks and river sports and lots of other good things. I get into home depot, with the smell of Lumber overtaking me, I recall myself to the fresh paint, Coty sits down and adds a few things up on his phone, I exclaim, "I'll be right back, ive got white paint to go find" I come back, Coty is gone...I recall my own quote from quite a while back "leaving a guy in home depot, is like leaving a kid at a toy store for any length of time" I lol figuring Rian would appreciate that quote going through my head,while wanting to text her and exclaim how I was in a store for 5 minutes and managed to lose her fiancee, I lol to myself... finally i hear :rattle rattle: I look over, hes riding the cart back too the service desk where i was to meet him. Classic, so im not the only 20 something that still does that, a very much appreciated moment from me.
We go to order the sod and leave, my knee starts acting up, as is my overtiredness (I try not to stand still too long when im overtired or ill start drifting since i had been yawning all day)
Coty brings me home, we unload what we have to unload, and load what we have to load meanwhile drooling over his beautiful Silverado (happens to be the same year ive been drooling over for months!!) help direct him to the hitch thingy
"hey dude, you should paint this trailer!!!" say our goodbyes and see you mondays, then I
walk inside, purge my shit load of taco bell :OM NOM NOM NOM: "Yo ho, smell you later family, its bikeride time!"
get about a quarter of a mile racing ::POP:: ::FIZZLE:: ::BOOM:: STOMACH ATTACK!!!
lesson learned: dont race around on a bike right after taco bell..
so anyways, I head home, lock up gates see a flash of lightning while standing next to my metal shed ::eeek, going inside!!!::
get online, realize how tired I am, lay down at 1130, fall asleep, wake back up at 3 something, and was challenged to write this, and here i am, dishes and shower and bed. night everyone!
::PERSONAL NOTE:: Creative writing at 3 something in the AM is not something im accustom too, so, this piece will probably be pretty plain minus my cop out ::action:: moments that I threw in during convos and moments i found funny of my day, so, have fun, and please do the same at a decent hour so you can be more creative then I :) ::end of personal note::
If your reading this, I challenge you to write a "day in the life" in AS MUCH DETAIL AS YOU CAN, of the very day you see this, and tag me and 20 more of your friends
Friday July 30th 2010
Wake up at 7:30, to the sound of water gushing..of course, at 7:30 in the AM, everything sounds like a dream, like i was standing atop Niagra falls (a place ive always wanted to visit) and had only sleeping a few hours anyways, it was weird. Mum yelled I CANT TURN THE WATER OFF, Im thinkin "o shit, this sounds like a not going back to bed moment" to me and more like an "holy fuck, emergency plumbing!" so, after a couple phone calls, they shut off our water, hicks comes out its all good. My brain is still in another dimension like a ACME Carrot falling in a vortex, or like an old 1940s transistor radio doing that, inner ear whopping sound, the dogs start barking, the plumbaa is here. Marley and Moe show off, ::lick face of stranger:: ::lick face of stranger:: "STOP IT" ::lick strangers arm:: ::make out with stranger:: "STOP IT PUPS! Come here!!" til I have to barracade the bathroom door, and he leaves, BOOM, finally sleep.
HA, no...after that Riley was so restless and barkey at the world outside, Holly didnt get much sleep at all, finally I awake with a BOOM (More like, a FUCK, GREAAATT, I can't sleep!) and Coty and his crew doing work outside, i step outside, still in my overly tired stooper, greet everyone briefly (im a bit anti social and weird when ive first woken up) and watch the beautiful work be done for a few. While LOLing over fake personal ads THANK YOU NOEMI !!
Then I came back into the house, and watched the latest conference on the Kyron Hormon case of the missing boy, ::many sighs expressed for the step mother:: my day went on, I spent some time with the chicys and ducks, and dogs, finished cleaning, meanwhile everyone made an excuse not to hangout with me (since no one except a couple went on with their "plans", i love being dismissed from everyones day)
Went out and admired my artwork ,showed it off to Alex finally who I had been meaning to show it too, find myself wandering over to next door to one my favorite smart-alec dude Allen's, and say "you should paint your quad" hes like "uhhh no" im like "uhh why not?" and we bantered about this for a few, then he hops on his quad "im gonna go play" "ooh, can you give me a ride home?" "Nope" "why not?" Nope :sassy and funny: cant you read the sign?" "oh please, its one house" :::voom voom, pulls out:: ::Holly runs:: waiiitttm pleeease? "okay, hurry it up" ::hops on edge to hop on back:: "OH NO, get on the front" "whaattt??" "yeah, its one house, get on the front" ::gets on front grill and screams bloody mary because of being on front:: "dude that was awesome THANK YOU!!!" ::voom voom, Allen takes off:: ::facebooks first brief quad ride::
Before I know it, I havent vacumed, or done any of the things I was suppose to do, I bum rush into it all, wel, you know, afterr checking some internet shenanigans like facebook and Phiten (I wants one!) I rushingly do things super fast,
:vacum:
:check phiten:
:vacum:
:check Theresas facebook reply:
:vacum:
:check Tanyas comment:
:unload dishwasher:
:check Krys's reply:
:finish dishwasher:
:tell Krys hes a fucking ratard on Todd's page:
:start laundry:
:excitingly glee at the fact that Krys is finally coming home from ft lewis:
:make the bed:
finish my housework/internet session, then feed dogs and carry on.
I end up delaying a few apps i decide to make up tomorrow. Then banter over what to eat at taco bell for dinner before my next plan.
Go to store with Coty to get remaining supplies needed for next week yard stuff, It was pretty fun, we had a few good chats about trucks and river sports and lots of other good things. I get into home depot, with the smell of Lumber overtaking me, I recall myself to the fresh paint, Coty sits down and adds a few things up on his phone, I exclaim, "I'll be right back, ive got white paint to go find" I come back, Coty is gone...I recall my own quote from quite a while back "leaving a guy in home depot, is like leaving a kid at a toy store for any length of time" I lol figuring Rian would appreciate that quote going through my head,while wanting to text her and exclaim how I was in a store for 5 minutes and managed to lose her fiancee, I lol to myself... finally i hear :rattle rattle: I look over, hes riding the cart back too the service desk where i was to meet him. Classic, so im not the only 20 something that still does that, a very much appreciated moment from me.
We go to order the sod and leave, my knee starts acting up, as is my overtiredness (I try not to stand still too long when im overtired or ill start drifting since i had been yawning all day)
Coty brings me home, we unload what we have to unload, and load what we have to load meanwhile drooling over his beautiful Silverado (happens to be the same year ive been drooling over for months!!) help direct him to the hitch thingy
"hey dude, you should paint this trailer!!!" say our goodbyes and see you mondays, then I
walk inside, purge my shit load of taco bell :OM NOM NOM NOM: "Yo ho, smell you later family, its bikeride time!"
get about a quarter of a mile racing ::POP:: ::FIZZLE:: ::BOOM:: STOMACH ATTACK!!!
lesson learned: dont race around on a bike right after taco bell..
so anyways, I head home, lock up gates see a flash of lightning while standing next to my metal shed ::eeek, going inside!!!::
get online, realize how tired I am, lay down at 1130, fall asleep, wake back up at 3 something, and was challenged to write this, and here i am, dishes and shower and bed. night everyone!
Life perspective and finding your big rock candy mountain.
In the Big rock candy mountain, for those of you that haven't heard it, to sum it up, its about a Hobo finding his own positive realm he trails off, talking about foiled jails, cigarette trees, and bulldogs with rubber teeth, cops with fake legs, and hens laying soft boiled eggs and then troubles of him reflected all over the songs. You can almost hear the pops and white noise of the old school record player skipping through the wording of the old man, those kind of songs keep me listening.
Anyways, we all seem to want our big rock candy mountain, I noticed the man doesnt complain about bills, cheating husbands, traffic tickets, or anything of the modern world, it seems as if troubles follow us wherever we roam. Even in simpler times, without many things, where you worked hard for your dollar, and people loved eachother and didnt complain about modern noises, they had hardcore troubles.
I could assume this man had been in jail for robbery, or maybe spitting his tobacco on the shoe of a sheriff. Assumingly not throwing a cup of acid in someones face or running someone off the road who irratated them. He worries of the cops and the pesky bulldogs, has some sort of notoriaty in the town square, and other then that, dreams of his own personal utopia in another world. He wanders, watches his imaginary fallen cigarettes off of the trees, and is probably immutable on finding his next meal while he roams and dreams.
I once told someone, that living in a fantasy world and thinking up my ideas and dreams is just about the only thing that makes me jubuliant. It seems as if, every once and a while, we have to find our own "big rock candy mountain" in our head to escape our realities.If only at the preface of our lives, we can just plan out and keep what makes us happy, unfortunately, life isnt always puppies and chocolate bars and airports and sunshine, its a lot of dog shit, duck shit, and dead rodents as well. I wish at times i could find my mental airports in real life, and at times, i can. I have trouble supplementing what to tide myself over with in the meantime. In the mist through the dog hair, I do my best to find the enthusiastic dog that made that lovely mess that i have to premably take a lint brush too. In the dying eyes of another person losing their life, you have to see the light they are headed towards and the no-pain they will be setting themselves free with. Life is sometimes all about perspectives, but I truely believe, some people can only handle so much.
I admit i am more of the lucky ones ,especially all ive seen, and nothing makes me more sick the one of the "lucky" ones trying to cheer up those less fortunate. So shut the fuck up Holly...right? no. I too have to escape the daily drab, the shit that makes me sick to do all the time, the repetitive motions, and the disrespect from many that follows it. I often feel like shit as a person, for my mistakes, just like that child that put a nail in the wooden wall for every mean thing he had ever done. Yeah, once he stopped, he pulled each nail out, but there were holes all over the door masking the scars of all of his mistakes. I too have my walls, I have bulldogs trying to get a bite out of my ass, and demons in my own closet as well. I aint fucking perfect, life aint fucking perfect, and if i got a slap for every mistake i made, id make Rhianna post-Chris Brown look really really good.
It's a struggle to find happiness, it is, no idea why, im sick of people saying "its your perspective, its your perspective" because for al ong time, im happy, im fine, then the wreck of the unemployment bug hits me, i need a ride across town, or something. Then the attacking begins, i turn into my own bulldog with steel teeth, fuck the rubber teeth, and i fucking cut loose and tear apart what stands in my path. Not in an accomplishing way, more of a destructive, dark, sort of way. I get insubordinate with how I should be and have been, sometimes self destructive, and quite affronting, especially if I feel your partially to blame. I have and tried and tried to do what i want to accomplish in life, and sometimes, no usually, helping others and my own efforts aside from that, stands in my way.So, thats my problem, back to the song and its interpretation, and perspective and all that shenanigans.
This is the unknown verse of this song (courtesy of Wikipedia), that I find very admirable, everyone has felt like they have hiked and hiked for rock candy, and have found no such thing and fuck hiking anymore.
The punk rolled up his big blue eyes And said to the jocker, "Sandy, I've hiked and hiked and wandered too, But I ain't seen any candy. I've hiked and hiked till my feet are sore And I'll be damned if I hike any more To be buggered sore like a hobo's whore In the Big Rock Candy Mountains."
I wish we could all get in that happy, blissful, state of mind, where we feel all euphoric and enter a mind realm of utopia, sing about cigarette trees and hung the man that invented work, and paddled in a lake of stu, walked into a tin jail that we could walk right out of. What does it take to make us feel like that all of the time? are we stuck in this reality of our own problems that drag our spirits and satisfactories down hill in a slide?We are past the point of our biggest problems stepping in tobaccy spit, train hopping in hopes that the boxcars are all empty, and running from deputy dog. The modern problems are where we are at in life, if we are doing what makes us happy, if in satisfactory lies US, and living life to the fullest without the daily bullshit that we cannot get rid of dragging us down . This perspective shit can only take you so far, but we are the key to our own happiness, the lock is within us, there are plenty of happy hobos still wandering out there, we need to find that inner blissful, drunken, hobo within us that lives in a beautiful world inside ourselves.
Mine lately, has been ideas and inventions,they lead to other thoughts and for some reason, make me give myself my infamous slight grin that sprinkles my spirit, Of course, spending times with people that make me laugh is priority to all. Thats the happy hobo side of me, thats my big rock candy mountain. (which i just realized is very amusing being that my nickname from J and K is Hobo)
I do my best not to think about the future, it really just kind of hurts me, i try to take these mind supplements to tide me over and make me go to bed screaming "now that was fucking awesome!!!!" (the 5 word phrase that once screamed to me DETENTION in a time period long ago)
Where is your big rock candy mountain? the simple things in life that we can change on a day to day basis, I hope you find it ,sometimes on my irrationally angry days, i cant really find it, but who can keep a mutual feeling or emotion the entire time? I learn to keep it in without "bottling" it, and not let it out to others, and am doing pretty fucking spiffy with that these days. Anyways, I hope you find that moment of bliss, not that you have to escape reality, but creating something, or watching or doing something that really tickles your innerds.
Here are the lyrics to this song i referenced in this writing piece, it kind of trails and runs on sentences like I do, I Love this song, from one of my favorite movies "Oh Brother Where Art Thou?" This song was from the 1920's, it is called The Big Rock Candy Mountains and the version I love is sung by Harry McClintock.
One evening as the sun went down
And the jungle fires were burning,
Down the track came a hobo hiking,
And he said, "Boys, I'm not turningI'm headed for a land that's far away
Besides the crystal fountains
So come with me, we'll go and seeThe Big Rock Candy Mountains
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains,
There's a land that's fair and bright,
Where the handouts grow on bushes
And you sleep out every night.
Where the boxcars all are empty
And the sun shines every day
And the birds and the beesAnd the cigarette trees
The lemonade springs
Where the bluebird sings
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains.
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains
All the cops have wooden legs
And the bulldogs all have rubber teeth
And the hens lay soft-boiled eggs
The farmers' trees are full of fruit
And the barns are full of hay
Oh I'm bound to go
Where there ain't no snow
Where the rain don't fall
The winds don't blow
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains.
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains
You never change your socks
And the little streams of alcohol
Come trickling down the rocks
The brakemen have to tip their hats
And the railway bulls are blind
There's a lake of stew
And of whiskey too
You can paddle all around it
In a big canoe
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains,
The jails are made of tin
And you can walk right out again,
As soon as you are in.
There ain't no short-handled shovels,
No axes, saws nor picks,
I'm bound to stay
Where you sleep all day,
Where they hung the jerk
That invented work
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains
::whistle solo::
I'll see you all this coming fall
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains
Anyways, we all seem to want our big rock candy mountain, I noticed the man doesnt complain about bills, cheating husbands, traffic tickets, or anything of the modern world, it seems as if troubles follow us wherever we roam. Even in simpler times, without many things, where you worked hard for your dollar, and people loved eachother and didnt complain about modern noises, they had hardcore troubles.
I could assume this man had been in jail for robbery, or maybe spitting his tobacco on the shoe of a sheriff. Assumingly not throwing a cup of acid in someones face or running someone off the road who irratated them. He worries of the cops and the pesky bulldogs, has some sort of notoriaty in the town square, and other then that, dreams of his own personal utopia in another world. He wanders, watches his imaginary fallen cigarettes off of the trees, and is probably immutable on finding his next meal while he roams and dreams.
I once told someone, that living in a fantasy world and thinking up my ideas and dreams is just about the only thing that makes me jubuliant. It seems as if, every once and a while, we have to find our own "big rock candy mountain" in our head to escape our realities.If only at the preface of our lives, we can just plan out and keep what makes us happy, unfortunately, life isnt always puppies and chocolate bars and airports and sunshine, its a lot of dog shit, duck shit, and dead rodents as well. I wish at times i could find my mental airports in real life, and at times, i can. I have trouble supplementing what to tide myself over with in the meantime. In the mist through the dog hair, I do my best to find the enthusiastic dog that made that lovely mess that i have to premably take a lint brush too. In the dying eyes of another person losing their life, you have to see the light they are headed towards and the no-pain they will be setting themselves free with. Life is sometimes all about perspectives, but I truely believe, some people can only handle so much.
I admit i am more of the lucky ones ,especially all ive seen, and nothing makes me more sick the one of the "lucky" ones trying to cheer up those less fortunate. So shut the fuck up Holly...right? no. I too have to escape the daily drab, the shit that makes me sick to do all the time, the repetitive motions, and the disrespect from many that follows it. I often feel like shit as a person, for my mistakes, just like that child that put a nail in the wooden wall for every mean thing he had ever done. Yeah, once he stopped, he pulled each nail out, but there were holes all over the door masking the scars of all of his mistakes. I too have my walls, I have bulldogs trying to get a bite out of my ass, and demons in my own closet as well. I aint fucking perfect, life aint fucking perfect, and if i got a slap for every mistake i made, id make Rhianna post-Chris Brown look really really good.
It's a struggle to find happiness, it is, no idea why, im sick of people saying "its your perspective, its your perspective" because for al ong time, im happy, im fine, then the wreck of the unemployment bug hits me, i need a ride across town, or something. Then the attacking begins, i turn into my own bulldog with steel teeth, fuck the rubber teeth, and i fucking cut loose and tear apart what stands in my path. Not in an accomplishing way, more of a destructive, dark, sort of way. I get insubordinate with how I should be and have been, sometimes self destructive, and quite affronting, especially if I feel your partially to blame. I have and tried and tried to do what i want to accomplish in life, and sometimes, no usually, helping others and my own efforts aside from that, stands in my way.So, thats my problem, back to the song and its interpretation, and perspective and all that shenanigans.
This is the unknown verse of this song (courtesy of Wikipedia), that I find very admirable, everyone has felt like they have hiked and hiked for rock candy, and have found no such thing and fuck hiking anymore.
The punk rolled up his big blue eyes And said to the jocker, "Sandy, I've hiked and hiked and wandered too, But I ain't seen any candy. I've hiked and hiked till my feet are sore And I'll be damned if I hike any more To be buggered sore like a hobo's whore In the Big Rock Candy Mountains."
I wish we could all get in that happy, blissful, state of mind, where we feel all euphoric and enter a mind realm of utopia, sing about cigarette trees and hung the man that invented work, and paddled in a lake of stu, walked into a tin jail that we could walk right out of. What does it take to make us feel like that all of the time? are we stuck in this reality of our own problems that drag our spirits and satisfactories down hill in a slide?We are past the point of our biggest problems stepping in tobaccy spit, train hopping in hopes that the boxcars are all empty, and running from deputy dog. The modern problems are where we are at in life, if we are doing what makes us happy, if in satisfactory lies US, and living life to the fullest without the daily bullshit that we cannot get rid of dragging us down . This perspective shit can only take you so far, but we are the key to our own happiness, the lock is within us, there are plenty of happy hobos still wandering out there, we need to find that inner blissful, drunken, hobo within us that lives in a beautiful world inside ourselves.
Mine lately, has been ideas and inventions,they lead to other thoughts and for some reason, make me give myself my infamous slight grin that sprinkles my spirit, Of course, spending times with people that make me laugh is priority to all. Thats the happy hobo side of me, thats my big rock candy mountain. (which i just realized is very amusing being that my nickname from J and K is Hobo)
I do my best not to think about the future, it really just kind of hurts me, i try to take these mind supplements to tide me over and make me go to bed screaming "now that was fucking awesome!!!!" (the 5 word phrase that once screamed to me DETENTION in a time period long ago)
Where is your big rock candy mountain? the simple things in life that we can change on a day to day basis, I hope you find it ,sometimes on my irrationally angry days, i cant really find it, but who can keep a mutual feeling or emotion the entire time? I learn to keep it in without "bottling" it, and not let it out to others, and am doing pretty fucking spiffy with that these days. Anyways, I hope you find that moment of bliss, not that you have to escape reality, but creating something, or watching or doing something that really tickles your innerds.
Here are the lyrics to this song i referenced in this writing piece, it kind of trails and runs on sentences like I do, I Love this song, from one of my favorite movies "Oh Brother Where Art Thou?" This song was from the 1920's, it is called The Big Rock Candy Mountains and the version I love is sung by Harry McClintock.
One evening as the sun went down
And the jungle fires were burning,
Down the track came a hobo hiking,
And he said, "Boys, I'm not turningI'm headed for a land that's far away
Besides the crystal fountains
So come with me, we'll go and seeThe Big Rock Candy Mountains
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains,
There's a land that's fair and bright,
Where the handouts grow on bushes
And you sleep out every night.
Where the boxcars all are empty
And the sun shines every day
And the birds and the beesAnd the cigarette trees
The lemonade springs
Where the bluebird sings
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains.
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains
All the cops have wooden legs
And the bulldogs all have rubber teeth
And the hens lay soft-boiled eggs
The farmers' trees are full of fruit
And the barns are full of hay
Oh I'm bound to go
Where there ain't no snow
Where the rain don't fall
The winds don't blow
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains.
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains
You never change your socks
And the little streams of alcohol
Come trickling down the rocks
The brakemen have to tip their hats
And the railway bulls are blind
There's a lake of stew
And of whiskey too
You can paddle all around it
In a big canoe
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains,
The jails are made of tin
And you can walk right out again,
As soon as you are in.
There ain't no short-handled shovels,
No axes, saws nor picks,
I'm bound to stay
Where you sleep all day,
Where they hung the jerk
That invented work
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains
::whistle solo::
I'll see you all this coming fall
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains
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