Family woman blurb.

There is nothing wrong that with people that do not go clubbing. There was once a time, when we were teenagers, and all we wanted to do was screw around (literally or not for some of us). and drink, and party, and find as much trouble as possible. Those of us that are grown up, would rather spend a night at home with their families or even a quiet gathering with their friends, then go out and get wasted with a bunch of strangers and drink as much as humanly possible. I am not saying no one should go out, but there is so much maturity to people that are staying home with their families. Also, I praise you parents that are home with your kids tonight (tho im not condemning you for going out). OH YA, Happy New Year and shit. May this year I improve my writing, clean my room, and not make people snore when they read my blogs.

Chiliconholly's 2011 edition of odd gifts!

Its a marvelous time of year, a time to creatively go shopping for others, a time to find very mind blowing things and impress someone...and along the way find those things that are either very impressive and highly overpriced, or just plain cookey.
Enough talk, lets get to the products!



1. The play and freeze ice cream maker...

Insert rock salt, ice, ice cream mix.and roll! Literally, its great for camping and places that are non-freezers, alas on the go or what not..I could totally see winding down an overly wild child making them tumble this forever and ever, and then eating the ice cream..err, I mean letting them having it when its all done! the really funny thing that struck me, is that it looks like one of those hamster rollers, you know those ones you put them in and they roll around on the floor in? I saw in an example picture that they have a dog rolling it around on the floor.....seeing as that my dogs are pretty good about opening latches and things, im certain by the time the tumbler came back to me, that ice cream would surely be eaten...so maybe I should make a meat flavored ice cream and let my dog tumble it around until he figures out how to eject it from its container. Your tumbler comes in various bright and vibrant colors, including: bright green, clear, purple, blue, red, pink, purple, orange, and sage green.

found on: amazon.com
seller: UCO or outdoor bunker
approximate retail value: $17.64 - $49.95 for a pint or a 1 quart size.
listed at: http://www.amazon.com/Play-Freeze-Cream-Maker-Ball/dp/B000S5XYI2/ref=amb_link_6051012_2?pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_s=center-8&pf_rd_r=1PQ4SK1HY3Q09DPYBNYX&pf_rd_t=101&pf_rd_p=1331360882&pf_rd_i=507846





2. The Help I have problems kit

Anyone have one of those geriatric friends that pop a pill everytime they see a contusion on their skin? or sneeze twice? well, I think you have found your perfect gift. Granted, there are a lot of helpful remedies in this I am sure, and it sure is cutely organized in an almost filing way. Its a pack to help ailments, it has *copy/paste list*
Contains 16 500mg acetaminophen tablets, 16 200mg uncoated, unsweetened and uncolored ibuprofen tablets, eight 10mg uncoated loratadine tablets, 6 large white bandages, 6 small white bandages, 4 large hydrocolloid bandages, 4 small hydrocolloid bandages, 16 25mg uncolored and uncoated diphenhydramineHCI caplets.
Divided among sections of: sleep, allergies, cut, blister, aching body, and headache.... I would almost buy it for a comical purpose, or because the container is so dang cute. It appears very small in size.

found on: fab.com
seller: Help remedies
price: 19.99 but retail value listed as 30.00
listed at: http://fab.com/sale/1379/product/28527/






3.MySack Golf ball storage sack (regular, and Senior edition)

For all golf lovers everywhere, you need something too hold your balls...why not go anatomically correct? They even offer a senior edition where one is noticeably sagging and the other is not...I think they should offer an edition for men with only one ball, I mean, isnt this serious discrimination? Anyways, so its a cute novelty item, and very funny for those with a dirtier sense of humor.


found on: Amazon.com
seller: MySack and MYsack
price: 16.15 for regular kind, or 17.99 senior edition (sorry oldies, gotta pay more)
listed at:
regular: http://www.amazon.com/MySack-Golf-Ball-Storage-Sack/dp/B002CC1ARQ/ref=sr_1_2?s=sporting-goods&ie=UTF8&qid=1323740643&sr=1-2

senior edition: http://www.amazon.com/MySack-Golf-Ball-Senior-Novelty/dp/B00571KTPI/ref=acc_glance_sg_ai_ps_t_3





4.Potty Putter Putting Mat Golf Game

Think about it: spending lengthy times in the bathroom, being able to lean forward, and put golfballs into a hole while on the toilet. sure beats reading, takes up more space but much more entertaining. Personally, the bathroom is kind of for business only, but, stereotypically as a female I guess that is pretty natural. One things for sure, id put on disposable gloves before handling your putters. Includes the putter green, 2 golf balls (in case you get excited, and hit it harder and slice it into the toilet behind you, you have a backup) and you also recieve a putter and a flag stick.

found on: Amazon.com
Seller: Maju LLC (but packaged, stored, and wrapped by Amazon)
price: $22.24
listed at: http://www.amazon.com/Potty-Putter-Putting-Golf-Game/dp/B003FCF028/ref=sr_1_cc_2?s=music&ie=UTF8&qid=1323744008&sr=1-2-catcorr





5. Pick your "nose" paper cups (12 oz cups, quantity 24, brand title Fred)

For some reason ,these realistic nose pictures at the bottoms of these cups really appealed to me. Sure they cost an arm in a leg, but nothing says funny item like seeing a realistic nose on the outside of the cup where your nose will be. Is it worthwhile? probably not, but it sure would be entertaining :). Some of the "noses" have mustaches, and some dont, and they look really funny on people from a side angle. I personally have a love, an obsession with anything mustaches, but even the noses without the facial hair are hilarious, and it would be quite entertaining at a party for example. Why get red solo cups when you can have a silly little activity to entertain all the drunks?

found on: Amazon.com
Seller: Fred
price: $12.00
listed at: http://www.amazon.com/Fred-12-Ounce-Pick-Your-Paper/dp/B000V6OKA4/ref=sr_1_40?ie=UTF8&qid=1323735924&sr=8-40





6. R2 Fish school: Complete fish training kit

Ever want to train your goldfish? This cute little kit has a tank size miniatures of a soccer field, agility poles (like the kind my dog owns), likewise with tunnels (speaking of which, my dog is too lazy and cute and unfocused to use them, but thats another story), it has a mini soccer ball, all made of plastic and little hoops to go through as well. In the youtube video, it shows the little orange feeder fish doing things perfectly, how they capture this, I have no idea..but it must be one heck of a fish whisperer :P Anyways, cute novelty, if nothing else, it makes a very charming decor for your fish tank, tho like most things will probably turn green relatively easily!


found on: Amazon.com
seller: R2 solutions
price:$25.22
listed at: http://www.amazon.com/R2-Fish-School-Complete-Training/dp/B00168A6DQ%3FSubscriptionId%3DAKIAJFDWI7DARHXWAJGA%26tag%3Dgiftscom07-20%26linkCode%3Dxm2%26camp%3D2025%26creative%3D165953%26creativeASIN%3DB00168A6DQ




7.Stay puft caffeine marshmallows

Combining one of the greatest movies of the 80's with one of the most favorite snacks in the world? I could think of 1000 people id want to get this for, for the love of 80's movies AND good foody. I am impressed. Caffeinated too, America runs on caffeine, everyone knows we love our Colombian beans of joyous goodness! Anyways, how much of a boost can these marshmallows possibly provide? I guess there is no saying without trying them, a bit expensive, fifteen dollars for 6.25 ounces, but hopefully well worth its cost.


found on: Amazon.com (through gifts dot com)
seller: Stay Puft
listed at: http://www.amazon.com/Stay-Puft-Marshmallows-6-25-Ounce/dp/B0042KWG6K%3FSubscriptionId%3DAKIAJFDWI7DARHXWAJGA%26tag%3Dgiftscom07-20%26linkCode%3Dxm2%26camp%3D2025%26creative%3D165953%26creativeASIN%3DB0042KWG6K
price: $14.99



8.Crazy Cat Lady action figure

Do you have that person in your life that has a strange affinity for having too many cats around? Maybe shes single? Lonely? Then you of course, want to portray that message? Well, I give you something that is as super as superman himself, the Crazy Cat Lady action figure! Complete with 6 cat figures, is this little lady who would make a lovely shelf sitter for a person who takes their cat obsession lighthearted. If they do not, this is not a recommended product for them to be receiving as a gift.


Found at: http://www.mcphee.com
seller: Archie McPhees (an online store and also there is a location in Seattle)
price: $10.95
listed at: http://www.mcphee.com/shop/products/Crazy-Cat-Lady-Action-Figure.html




9.Canned Unicorn meat

I should first post a disclaimer, that you in fact will not be eating a real unicorn if you find this packaged. There is a toy inside, this is a hilarious gag gift, kind of useless (I mean, at least the bacon candle has some kind of aromatic purpose) but this is simply a dismembered plush unicorn that is in a container decorated and labeled UNICORN MEAT. The can is sort of like a can of spam, only instead of fake meat, this has no meat at all.



Found at: http://www.thinkgeek.com
seller: Think Geek
price: $12.99
listed at: http://www.thinkgeek.com/caffeine/wacky-edibles/e5a7/?srp=1


10. Zombie survival guide: complete protection

This is a real book, I suppose it would help you in our next Zombie apocalypse, someone should purchase a copy for Woody Harrelson in addition to a ton of twinkies. Anyways, Zombies pirates ninjas, are all trends in the past several years. There are “Zombie walks” in Portland and Seattle, as well as other places as well I am sure. Now, the subject of how handy this book is is clearly as subjective on surviving an Alien invasion, however, keep this in your back pocket in case of an encounter with one of those brain eating specimens :)



Found at: http://www.amazon.com
seller: Max Brooks (the author)
price: $7.95
listed at: http://www.amazon.com/Zombie-Survival-Guide-Complete-Protection/dp/1400049628/ref=cm_lmf_tit_7


11. Bacon: Original Man Candle

Bacon is the craze right now, its shown up everywhere in flavored gum, mints, the campaign “Everythings better with bacon” and various scented and tastefully variations of bacon. This is no different, a bacon scented candle. It comes in a bacon decorated tin, and is a great addition to a white elephant gift party, or just for that bacon lover in your life. Why is it generalized to men? This I do not know, but I do know, that it probably smells like bacon. I would not like this myself, the idea of grease cooking while I type this with my sour stomach ache, sickens me to think of it. However, it is a great idea to match the American Bacon craze thats hit as hard as furby's in the later 90's. Why has someone not invented a canned furby meat yet I wonder? hmm, all in time I guess.

Found at: http://www.perpetualkid.com
seller: Perpetual kid
price: $11.99
listed at: http://www.perpetualkid.com/bacon-original-man-candle.aspx




12. Cupcake beanie hat

I in mind, personally know of a little girl that would probably love this. It has style, it has flair, but its a bit young for just anyone IMO. Then again, if you feel as if wearing a giant replica of a sugary diabetes inducing snack is on your list of things you want to put on your head, then by all means, I will not personally be judging you. It comes in a chocolate, vanilla or strawberry topped cupcake, with sprinkles and a cherry on top, but I am warning you, get busted chewing on that thing, and those nice men in white coats are going to come put you in a van and provide you with a brand new jacket. Anyways, its all knitted, hand made gifts are always each unique and help promote “individuality”. Knowing you supported someone who stitched it all themselves by hand, to me puts a certain value on a product that cannot be placed on something mass produced in a factory. Then again, that comes from the mouth of a big time art enthusiast.


Found at: http://www.perpetualkid.com
seller: perpetual art
price: $27.99
listed at: http://www.perpetualkid.com/cupcake-hat-beanie-neff.aspx





13. The Pirate Primer: Mastering the Language of Swashbucklers and Rogues


Argh! Wanna be a pirate do you? Not the modern Eastern real ship stealing and people killing pirates, but the blackbeard peg leg stories o de old fiction swashbucklers! Now, walk de plank or pillage this book from your local barnes and nooooooooble, and buy some starrgghbucks and sit down and enjoy it, me hardys. Pirate history is very facinating, and we all have had fun with the language at some point or another, buy this for your pirate lover in your life.


Found at: http://www.amazon.com
seller: George Choundas
price: $10.87
listed at: http://www.amazon.com/Pirate-Primer-Mastering-Language-Swashbucklers/dp/1599631962/ref=cm_lmf_tit_27





14. Schwetty golf balls

Are you a fan of Alec Baldwin's skit on SNL where he speaks of his schwetty balls? Well, we have just the product for you. A set of golfballs that have an A and a B on it, and a little design. Great for your SNL buff, or golfer buddy. Get yourself a set of warm schwetty balls today. While your at it, try the new controversial Ben and Jerry's “schwetty balls” where like Alec Baldwin said himself on SNL, if you do not like that flavor, to try their other flavor which is called “Go Fudge yourself !!!” On the balls, you have an A and a B with a little hand drawing signature sack look :), they are cleverly well done!


Found at: http://www.perpetualkid.com
seller: Perpetual kid
price: $5.99 (I believe its a package of two, but am not sure)
listed at: http://www.perpetualkid.com/schwetty-balls.aspx





15. BLOG AUTHORS PICK 1: Remote control swimming blue shark

I was fortunate enough to see this product tested in person twice this year. Once at Steamcon (which was a Steampunk convention in October of 2011 in Bellevue, WA) and once at the Holiday food and gift festival. This is essentially a giant Mylar balloon with a remote control. It may sound lame, but it was a big large shark, and could swing its tail back and forth. I actually personally really enjoyed it, it went well with the convention (considering it was a Nautical theme) and it would be a fun kids toy or piece for someone who has a facination with the ocean or its creatures.

Found at: sighted at Steamcon and the Oregon Food and gift festival, you can purchase it on http://www.stupid.com

seller: Stupid dot com
price: $37.95 (on sale, usually 42 or higher)
Listed at: http://www.stupid.com/Remote-Control-Air-Swimming-Shark_p_2805.html





16. BLOG AUTHORS PICK 2: Beard Beanie knit cap

As a mustache enthusiast (come on, we all know thats the biggest draw of steampunk!) I happen to think this is AWESOME imo. It is essentially a big felt or knitted (in some cases) beard/mustache combination. Funny for guys, funny for Women (tho they could make a pink hat to compliment a fem value in it) and perfect for us facial hair enthusiasts. Would keep your head/face warm, which is another huge plus in the harsh winter months surrounding Christmas. If you do not like facial hair tho, you will have no interest in this product, for you can purchase a capuche if facial hair does not tickle your innards.


Found at: http://www.stupid.com
seller: stupid dot com
price: $24.95 (usually about 28 something)
listed at: http://www.stupid.com/Beard-Beanie-Knit-Cap_p_2595.html

Griefstricken (the loss of a Cat)

the worst feeling in the world, would be when your so stricken with grief, that you cannot even stand. when your breath is shortened, because you just do not know what to do with yourself. You find yourself wandering around, cleaning up the pet bowls, maybe putting his bed in the washer, and for some reason, the rain outside always ends up pouring down. you put every pet bowl he has in the sink, or start scrubbing. You stare at his bed as if it is going to be full with his soft fuzzy belly again. The catbox sits there, and tho you are emptying and getting rid of everything, you do not want to see the place totally empty without him. You know you have to call the vet to give him the word to put him to sleep, but you feel like dialing that phone is just going to get him to exit your life quicker. Yet, hes in so much pain that it has to be done. As you dial the phone, you reach for a tissue, and the tech answers the phone as you feel your throat and nose tighten up further.
Nothing helps, no bible verses, no rainbow bridge poems, you just wanna hold your cat, you want to see him bring in another rodent, or watch him happily jump up by the cat food bowl, greet the kids every morning at the bus stop.
You stand up to write, and have to keep walking away from the computer, because every fucking word your typing is killing you more so.

Didn't end up calling, went down to say goodbye instead. We all shed many tears, how the fuck could he be dying? He was purring, looked so bright eyed, theres no way this Cat is dying, but he is, you know he looks haggard because of a low red blood cell count, but science cannot help grievance any faster.

We take turns passing him around in a circle, tell him how wonderful he is, I get that feeling that he knows, he knows something is up.

Doc sedates him, he acts totally out of it, then lays him down while we pet him, gives him the euthanasia, while we continue crying and he still felt so alive, so vivid. Doc shuts his eyes, tells us to leave right away if we choose.

I get home, its pouring down rain, im in a tshirt, still sick, outside spraying out the litter pan, it keeps pouring on me, why does it always pour when someone dies? Rain is so pretty, but slowly being ruined by these types of events.

It keeps pouring, I shiver, I merely notice, I just notice that I am not going to bring my cat in tonight, I notice stepping out to the garage and feeling instantly stomach sick because he is not there. No more cat food on the table, no more beef liver reminants in a bowl to pick up for him at night, no more cat attacking leg when I walk through garage, and without it, inside I emotionally die.

I talk to Wes, he expresses his condolances. I talk to Allen, he tries his best using humor and empathy to make me feel better. Tho it helps, I feel as if nothing does without my Cat here.

I write those last few words, I cry again. Is he really watching me in Heaven? Is that how God works things? or have I just told myself that all of these years to make myself feel better?

It keeps pouring, I keep cleaning...as if a clean catbox is going to bring him home like it usually does, God help me, I could be giving myself pneumonia, but I just dont give a shit.

I will not sit out on the swing anymore with the cat, he sat with me on summer solstice, a usually odd and almost difficult holiday for me, he sat with me a few times amongst the last evenings I sat out there. My buddy Lucky is gone, and it seems as if this pain will never fully heal. I used to hate when he would bring me dead rats in the garage, but now, id give anything to have him back on earth doing that again.

So I lay here in bed empty, thinking of my lost soul, preparing to pray in hopes that God can tell my Cat how much I love and miss him, and get up tomorrow for work acting as if nothing has happened, but feeling that broken hearted burn inside that will instantly stop my laughter once I start them up again as if I feel guilty to laugh or smile at the world around me. My chest hurts even posting this picture, his soft greenish eyes melted my heart until the moment we lost him and I saw his eyes no more.

I'll always miss him, and love him.

RIP my love, Lucky.

I dont like what your doing to your kid.

This is probably one of the most controversial blogs i have ever written, im just glad ot say first off that my writers block is finally going away and im excited about it.

Anyways, I thought the title was an attention grabber, and condemn me all you want I do not mind if you agree or disagree, your opinions are more then welcome!

ADD: My kid is having trouble paying attention, so there is his label: attention deficit disorder

ADHD: My kid is wild, and having trouble paying attention, so lets g ive him that label (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder)

ODD: Op-positional defiant disorder.. My kid automatically says NO when asked a question.

Aspergers syndrome: person, child, whatever..has a quirky personality, excells in one or two things, and has a lot of trouble interacting socially.


Way back when..well, a little before I was growing up. they didnt have all of these pharmaceutical labels for your kids, and its funny how everyone turned out fine isnt it?

Einstein himself was famous for not doing well in school

Now firstly, I am going to say that some of these conditions could potentially be real, but I have learned in my experiences (as studying naturopathic medicine growing up, taking child development and VERY ACTIVELY assisting in raising both of my nephews, and seeing how much thingss have changed through the years)that the pharmecuitical companies are not all they are cracked up to be.

My kid has ADHD, lets put him on ritalin (or another similar drug) to and calm him down, next time you know (and this happened to a dear old friend of mine) the kid is a zombie, doesnt have the same excentric personality he had before when he had this alleged "learning disorder"

It is flat out embarassing, for my friend's kids to pretty much do whatever they want, and have my friend walk up and say "Im sorry, my kid has ADHD, he cannot help it". My Mom would have WHOOPED OUR ASSES if we were older then the age of 3, and still bit people, or mouthed off and said whatever we wanted when we were old enough to know the difference.

Many times it is proven (in the naturopathic world, not so much the modern medicine "run to the DR everytime you sneeze" world) that often really eccentric children, have a bad reaction to the CRAP that is in our food (commonly red dye number 40, and sodium Benzoate, and other artificial sweeteners and preservatives that are in everything)

Check your kid, instead of drugging him first...That should be the slogan for a new tshirt. I bet half of the kids out there have not even been tested if they are having a bad reaction to red dye number 40, or high fructose corn syrup, or sodium benzoate, or anything else on the labels of our overly stimulating drinks and food.

Wouldnt people rather check and see what their kids can and cannot handle, instead of running them to the DR to drug them up and fix the problem and make your child a zombie??

No, its more fun I guess to feed lots of money to our rich pharmaceutical big wigs, and make our kids little aliens instead of doing whats best for them in feeding them natural foods.

My other peeve: ASPERGERS....granted, I am sure it exists, I am not saying none of this does, but just ecause someone doest have a clue. is not on the same page as you, is socially awkward, tempermental and childish, doesn't reason, and has something they are an exceptional whiz at, does not mean that they are autistic.

I get it, awareness, they know so much more now then they knew before! but really, do they? or are we just feeding the doctors, shrinks, governments, and pharmaceutical companies pockets on prescription drugs and office visits?
you tell me.

what do adults do on Halloween?

Haunted houses: busy, expensive

Drinking: Borrriiiinnngggggg

So aside from dressing up, what is there exactly for us child-less adults to do on Halloween? it has potential, but what does everyone do for it aside from set up cheesy displays and make shift haunted houses? ideas to come....and welcome.

sick of it

Writers block, its like an noncontagious mental bubonic plague. I want less of the ME ME ME's in writing....like the way my writing used to be...but see? I did it again.

Frick. Help :(

Grab bag snapshot: entry 2

 

Here are random shots of the boys and our girl

 

 

 

  

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101 things to do at an airport or on the airplane

This blog is for Reece and Alisa: everyone else would just think its stupid...

1. Keep saying TERMINAL ONE in a robot voice, if you see old people, do it right in their face
2. Take drugs, get them in your pants through security
3. Get all the kids together in one place and play duck duck goose and read stories while waiting for boarding.
4.smuggle an aligator...my friend works airport security, and that really happened lol.
5. TALK AND TAALLK to the nearest stranger next to you (thats for you Reese)
6. When you board the plane and the door shuts, scream IT SMELLS LIKE ALLIGATOR POOP!!
7.Read a book
8.Read a magazine
9. Read your partners eyes
10.Knit
11.Crochet
12. Run through the terminals screaming your favorite songs
13. Use the drinking fountain for a waterfight in the airport! or bottled water on the plane..make sure and soak the pee out of the old people
14. Laugh endlessly, Holly style
15. Eat
16. when they take your drink order..be really indecisive and say uuhhhhhhhmmm a lot
17. draw
18. Color
19. twiddle your thumbs
20. pop every bone in your body
21. burp
22. Fart
23. fart and burp in a chorus of WE WILL ROCK YOU!
24. Have hot steamy sex at 1000 miles in the air, THE MILE HIGH CLUB!!
25. Watch the Hangover
26.Make a mini flash mob just you and your travel mates, sing songs like LEAVIN ON A JETPLANE! and I WANT TO FLY AWAY by Lenny Kravitz
27. Read the skymail magazine, fantasize how WEIRD your life could be with some of the objects in there
28. play ispy, looking out the window only (and only use clouds) lol!
29.look at the cloud formations in the sky
30. when i was little, i used to picture people sitting on the clouds watching me fly by (weird, i know!)
31. talk and laugh like peter griffen, and stewie..tho Peter would be more annoying and fun!
32. Count all the old people, then eat them
33. talk like an arab...
34. dont say BOMB in an airport..but say TICKING EXPLOSIVE DEVICE instead...
35. try to break into stupid ex's accounts....and fail miserably at it because you just do not care
36. sleep (my eyes are so heavy right now just saying the word)
37.pick your scabs, gross, i know!
38. pick your nose
39.pick your bum
40.pick your partners hair, and eat his bugs like a monkay.
41. Impersonate your favorite wild animal
42. Talk in a fake Brittish or Irish accent the entire time from airport through checkpoint and too airplane
43. ask the TSA if they are going to check your partner and see if they have drugs in their pocket, then give them reason to why you think that !!
44. Ride on the luggage ramp when you get your bags
45. Yell TUBULAR DUDE!! and humm SURFIN USA by the beach boys while you ride it
46. have sex on one, youd be in for the ride of your life, in the back of a cop car!
47. airport bathroom sex....
48. airPLANE bathroom sex..sounds claustraphobia inducing
49.throw a screaming child in the bathroom, and flush him and watch him fly!
50. sit and wonder who you just shat on as you took that dump in the airplane bathroom...
51.smuggle a dwarf through security check point
52. TEXT OR CALL HOLLY ON HER CELL THAT NOW WORKS!! lol!
53. take lots of pictures..
54. get a smoothie from the rad place at PDX before the check points, mmm
55. kick yourself in the ass, because by the time you read this, youll be past the check points lol
56. learn something new about eachother that you have never told eachother...
57. get excited about eating at TGI FRIDAYS!! :) or anywhere new on the trip!
58. remember to not be douche bags and fuck tards, and pack me in your suitcases next time lol
59. try combining ginger ale with something else sprite-ish! or ginger ale and v8.its oober good!!
60.dont read my, dont read my, dont read my pokerface...
61. tickle a TSA guy..see if it gets you through security quicker.
62. you know those belts at the security check point that you put your crap on? lay on one, so the tsa man can see your skeleton lol
63. make lots of static when you have to take your shoes off
64. and shock everyone with it!!
65. have your id ready (possibly the most useful piece of advice on this entry)
66. cry like a baby when you gain or lose your 10 bucks (i heard about your little bet!!!)
67. remember, this trip is about eachother.and to do all you can for eachother during the duration of this trip
68. Find me a hot date! tell reese what happened! lol :)
69. start the wave while on the plane
70. start the wave while sitting to board a plane
71. when they call kids traveling alone to board first, walk on your knees and go IM A WIDDLE KID!!!
72. remember that Holly + Ryan = YES YES YES!! and plan out exactly what i am going to say to him when i see him for the first time in a year and remember were all going to dinner together lol!
73. think of Unique wedding flares for when that day comes for you two :)
74. streak through the airport...nah, better yet, the airplane!
75. slap yourself, for not texting me back when i told you what number i was on :)
76. slap reese, because abuse is awesome!
77. kick alisa in the shin, because I said so! :P
78. take turn putting regurgatated old people and kids on the baggage belts...
79. tell the lady :id like to fly today: when you check your boarding pass through the under plane portion
80. challenge eachother to not say the word WORK, SUPERVISOR, OR LABOR the entire time your gone :)
81. woah, i just fell asleep between 80 and 81..no joke
82. okay, your turn..what can you add to the list?
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101.

Eddie my love.. (referencing the 60s song)

yeah, well, the decision to become a parent has been haunting me forever now. I honestly think that the influence of shows like John and Kate plus 8 played some kind of role to it, but on my own, I saw how important kids are. I have had my kid nephew J for a long time now, hes a super rad kid and I can only dream that my little boy is going to be just like him in most ways. I am not financially able to support a kid right now, Id like to be settled in a career, and living on my own, and of course, b eing able to do what all I can for my kids. I have always wanted a son as well, im thinking having 2 nephews had a huge play in the reasons for that. Also the fact that I truely have had bad luck with evil little girls! Lets face it, when it comes to kids, boys are boss, and little girls are annoying princesses.

Also, since as long as I can remember, I have wanted to name my son, Eddie (really, to the point of that being a relationship requirement, ask the ex's lol). Just a vision I had, my Mom, all she ever wanted to be was a Mom, and I guess for the most part I follow that.

Yes, sleepless nights, permanent commitments and maturity, attitude plays a big role in becoming a parent, but darn it, im ready. In every way but financially. I had a lot of practice watching J so much.

Everytime I step into the store, I gawk over the babie clothes (if they are in sight).
Im working on a letter to write to my future children, just so I can see how much things change between this confidence in being ready, and the time I actually have them would be.

Alright, im off to find unflavored jello, toodles everyone.

Drive test TOMORROW!!!

Just try your best...thats what my 8 year old nephew told me when he sees me all nervous talking to a friend about my drive test tomorrow. Hes such a good kid, very kind hearted. I wuv him!

ive also been told "you can do it" and " youll be fine" "just follow the rules" dont be nervous" and so on and so forth :) DAMN, I Love my family, and few friends that I have ,lol.

City grab bag snapshot: Leavenworth Washington

 

“grab bag snapshot” : everyone has random pics on their computer, left over from a better set of pictures, in a folder somewhere…every once and a while you run across those, and alas you then have your “grab bag snapshots”, they can be used as a preview, or just as a random blogging moment…

 

In an attempt to make a trip to the great state of Washington upper Norther :) and some moments of reminiscing, here are some pics from our Leavenworth trip taken in June of 2010, now, these are not very great moments, I have so many better pictures from that trip ,but most of it was caught via video camera. Anyways, here it is, take it or leave it, or wait for better ones if I ever manage to find that SD card….

 

German themed building

Wenatchee river

cute German house

Black swan? Island-ish

Multitasking

Ellensburg-ish

Random picture blurb…. Do pictures tell 1000 words? or just 999 and a half?

 

 

 

and thats a wrap for today….

Summer Solstice

So, as a huge Third eye blind fan..I credit sir Stephan Jenkins for a lot of things. One of which is helping me realize the internal value of Summer Solstice.

June 21st 2009, my now ex and I attended the Third eye blind concert... at the Crystal Ballroom in Portland, OR... that was my first taste of what I believed true love, we were just starting out..I am really not going to get into that.


Sir Jenkins was talking about how beautiful Summer solstice is, how he felt so in touch with the earth on the "longest" Day of the year, and tho he doesnt believe in God, its a very spiritual moment..how night is day and day is night. The sky is always a ton of funky colors, and yet how everything around him kinda fades to black.

At the time, his Mom was sick, maybe cancer but I do not know and cannot confirm for sure what the illness was, and he sang this song, well, several songs..he kept throwing the Wooaaaahss of his hit Bonfire in it, and the light shined through the window of the Crystal ball room as the sun went down, I will always remember the movement of the show in my heart, and the alleged "love" that was in the air at the time of course added too it.

In 2010, I was left alone to find myself, and define myself in a way..Summer solstice came around, and it reminded me of how far I had came, and how different things were the year before. So I embraced the night, I cannot remember what I did, but I remembered I made everyone leave me alone while wherever I was at, I stayed outside and watched the sun sink beneath the horizon.

2011, I was home this night on this lovely new era "Holiday" and I did it all over again, I shut everyone out, and had some quiet time. This time I was so tired from being overwhelmed in work from the week, that I sat and enjoyed myself on our front yard swing, Lucky ( one of my cats) came out and embraced the moment with me as I watched the orange sky pull the sun into the ground at the latest point it would that entire year.

Sounds silly to some, but embracing nature and reflecting the moment itself, is very moving, It stalls out many other things in life, good and bad, it puts you at one with the earth. God's beautiful creation in front of me, watching it like a movie. I put on some pandora Third eye blind, and Pandora Phish, and kept to myself that lovely night a week ago.

Love may have died a bit over a year ago, but summer solstice still remains.

Dog advice (its amazing the crap one can learn in a year)

In a nutshell, im going to show you what happened here: I was on tumblr, and someone was asking advice for help on their friends dog...apparantly it broke loose from where it was supppose to be, and killed 14 chickens (recall one of my dogs killed one of ours earlier in the year). Being a good friend and young Padawan of my dear friend Megan-Kate, ive realized that I cannot really hate my dog (tho to be honest, I really did at first)...Anyways, after she screwed my head on straight, I learned a bit more about dogs...

So these peeps I found on tumblr, dont know what to do with their dog, euthanize it, give it to some farm far away, whatever, so shes trying to help her friend, and i hope that she gets my message... here is what I sent:

I dont know how to send a message on tumblr, but its about the dog: I happen to be an expertees at dog behavior, having 5 of my own: anyways, I had a similar incident with my sweet, non-malicious border collie (he ripped the head off of one of our chickens) anyways, a dog sees a chicken as a toy, prey, something to play with and chase (That is what dogs like best), and once a chicken dies, its an "object" to them, it stops moving, so its like..a toy once its been thrown to the ground, does that make sense? anyways, I hope your friend gets the dog trained, or mainly, gives it to a home that can enrich its behavior and suit its needs. German shepards are very high energy dogs, they need tasks, jobs to do (Thats why they are typically used as police dogs) wheras it be herding, agility, property guard, rat killing, whatever. It needs to be walked frequently, and worn out regularly, it is less likely do to malicious things to other animals (even all in play) if your dog is getting what it needs in life. If your friend is willing to commit to walking it, and giving it attention he/she should keep it, if it isnt. then they should find it a nice home (or like you said farm) where it can live a healthy life. Also, 3 years is not too late to train a dog, its never too late, until its old and blind and deaf :)

Minor back in touch update

Lets see, working between 30 and 40 hours a week, just went to Steamcon last month (pics to come!) and Seattle, new material around the corner...heres to hoping to finish the writing pieces instead of falling asleep with a warm computer on my lap. Buenos noches.

Random tidbit, very cute.

My Mom calls me from the office today of our work place, shes filling out an incident report due to a bad experience I had with a client, she asks me sort of laughing what the word used to describe the underside of a clients well "Man parts" were called by the clients son (asking me what word he used to describe them in the crude manner he described them in)

I said "did you mean, chode?"

and my Mother repeats the word out loud, and I hear a bagillion ladies from the office laughing hysterically on the phone....I love my family, and co workers, they're so cute lol.

2 burning questions...and opinions on them each.

Okay, this was a big debate that im willing to discuss on a q of the day on fb tomorrow. I am writing these, with both of my opinions, so this is from a fairly subjective point of view, but im still wondering (and encouraging) an opinion on the issue at hand,its good to see both sides of it, and see what the world thinks and justify s if they could in fact write the laws. Its been fun and interesting to see whats morally correct to someone, and what is not to others. (well 2 issues) the first one is:

If an inmate is on death row, does he have the right to donate his organs?

why its good: many people out there, of young and old age, are needing organs (that of which, most cannot be made in a lab). Many inmates, are also out there set on death row to be executed (there are 36 in Oregon alone). Why not give those that need an organ of some kind, that of an inmates organ?

why its bad: People are afraid that using the organs of inmates, might cause the state to put a rush on the execution of them. If someone is waiting for a kidney, and one of the inmates on death row is a matching donor, why wouldn't they kill them faster to get that healthy person that kidney? so basically, it seems as if they are avoiding a "what if" in this case, that could save many lives.

So, anyone reading, what do you think? Do you believe that an inmate has no right to donate their organs? or do you believe that they should be able to willingly donate their organs and succeed in providing for the needy after they are gone?


SECONDLY, The other issue at hand: this one is very subjective, and often touchy.

Lets say a man rapes a girl, and for whatever reason (including her not reporting it) the man does not go to Jail.

Lets say the Woman that got raped, was your: Daughter, Niece, Sister, Mother, Aunt, Grandmother, whatever.

What do you do?

Lets say you beat the shit out of him, and tattoo the word RAPIST all over his body, is that wrong? Do two wrongs make a right?

Now, you can think of it in a biblical sense (which would be cheek for a cheek) the beginning of the bible says eye for an eye, but Jesus came to Earth in the New testament, and set things straight.

Anyways, do you yourself, or COULD you yourself, do something horrible and malicious too this person knowing what monstrous act he committed? or are you mellow and in believing that God will bring justice to this man, and protect other people?

I know its crazy.

I have reached that point in my life, where I discovered that it is time to become a parent, emotionally, I am pretty much ready. I know it isn't just a trophy or sense of pride to carry around with you, but with a natural nurturing sense that I have, working with friends kids, and spending years practically raising my nephew (since high school I might throw out there), it seems as if emotionally, I am ready to take on my own.

Not saying im going to go out and knock myself up, obviously, id like to get my entire life together first instead of just part of it. I want to be able to provide for my child. I don't wanna be in college, or trying to get sworn into a firestation, if thats even what I want to do. I do not know.

Ok, im done, this blog is getting depressing. Im leaving now.

Yacht Rock..how a mockumentary can educate.

Ive been an Eagles fan since i was a young child, and as I went into my teenage hood, it became larger. Steely Dan on the other hand, has been 2010-and one of those bands that impacts you forever after that.

So, im watching episode 10 of Yacht Rock (come on, they make fun of Michael McDonald, I have to jump on the band wagon for this one!!) they talk about in the mockumentary, this fake bullying childish feud among the 2 bands...and how they made up via the makings of the song FM, whereas SD was forced to ask the Eagles for back up music.

So weird..even in a mockumentary, your two favorite bands in the world (in addition to 3eb which is far from the Yacht Rock scene) feuding..LOL!! Anyways, in the video..they mentioned a few songs...some of which were

Hotel California by the Eagles- in this song, they say "they stab it with their STEELY knives, but they just cant kill the beast"...im wondering, if in reality, that was actually a reference to Steely Dan. Really, who the fuck says STEELY?? They made a joke about it in Yacht Rock..and i later saw it in one of those stupid music forums "song facts" (that half the time are inaccurate)

Show Biz kids by Steely Dan- they say:
"We got booze and the Eagles, all that money can buy"

Everything you did by Steely Dan- they say: "Turn up the Eagles the neighbors are listening"


and believe that the line in Hotel Calfornia about the Steely knives was a reply to those references...

So, this blog is fairly messy and choppy..and I apologize to anyone who bothers reading that. I just dont know if: the bands really feuded, or if it was a myth maybe started later derived from Yacht rock? the groups are very similar..clever lyrical geniuses, and soft smooth sounds, it makes sense..doesnt it? I am doing my best to research it as i type this..I found the lines in the song very interesting, and LOL if you have never seen episode 10 of Yacht Rock (search on youtube or channel101.com for it) its hilarious..and inspired this messy blog ive written.

Im wondering also...if they really did backup on FM? and if not, what they did back up on? Google doesnt answer everything...which is bullshit, isnt technology better then that? lol :) I know Tim Schmitt did some backups for Steely Dan, but I dont know much else other then that. Im curious how much they link together....and how much they backed up for each other if at all.


Happy links: first is song facts..some i honestly think people pulled out of their asses, or used Yacht Rock for reference (which is a bad idea, considering most of it is totally false and totally for amusement only lol)
here is this link for the alleged songfacts for show biz kids:
http://www.songfacts.com/detail.php?id=7710

and the link for Everything you did:
http://www.songfacts.com/detail.php?id=2098

and you can find the link for the other one if this blog appeals to any of my few readers...

anyways, enjoy the links everyone! and let me know what you all think..or what is valid history here...

Happy Birthday to Charlie Chaplin

One of my favorite actors of all time...there isnt much to say in this blog I guess..the Tramp .had he been one of the rare ones to live a SUPER LONG life..could have been alive today.but turning 122, that would have been very unlikely..anyways, Google decided to change the search bar to a poorly copied version of one of his videos...it was alright, but having seen a lot of Charlie Chaplin videos in my day (I own quite a few of his dvds of his short films) I hold a pretty high standard to silent films lol.

I was convinced that Supertramps song "Take the long way home" is an ode to Charlie Chaplin. Not just because it references "City lights" but because it talks about a man who is comfortable as his work on stage, but not as much in his regular life..he was a a slave to his job, and it pisses off his wife and family for him being himself...him having an arrogance to life, but living it the way he is comfortable in doing so as well. just as the real Charlie The Tramp Chaplin was in real life.
In high school, I had picked Charlie Chaplin to do as a project EVERY CHANCE I got, so studying him has been a long term fortay of mine...and twice ive dressed up in drag on halloween just to be my uber-hero. Anyways... yes, Happy birthday to a legend, I hope people all around the world remember Charles Spencer Chaplin on this day, and how he changed films forever.

It has been a little while..heres a short one.

Last blog post was March 21st, eek. Ive been a busy bee, getting things cleaned and faceprocrastonatingbook, and just..doing everything I can do lately. I think ive even cleaned out the Duck run twice since the last blog...in addition to ate about 20 dinners, haha.

Anywhos, this whole hours cut thing would generally killing me, but finding that happy aura has been helpful, and of course finding out that another client is right around the corner...one that will bring my hourly pay up a whole dollar (To 10.90) and more hours...so thats always a plus.

Im studying for an vital test..ive done very little on that accomplishment list, however been cleaning up the mess in the room lately...so thats always a perk! J had a good spring break, we did some walking, tho its never really what its planned, its okay nevertheless. Got his basketball hoop put together tho, grr, I hate reading past ideas/lists when they are un accomplished.

Anyways, a quote when given a philosophical question inspired todays blog: one of the deep penetraitng thoughts ive written that have changed my life, given me perspective, and hopefully in your own life experiences, my quote will give you an eye opening too.

So the question was: at what point in life does your life become considered a "bonus": Here was my reply:

Everyday is a bonus, even the miserable ones. We still have our breath, we still have our life. I got in a bad bicycle crash on the way home from work about a month ago. (had a concussion and broke a tooth, minor injures) but that moment made me realize, that im lucky to be here every single day. As soon as I hit that ground at full speed head first, I had an instant thought of life being over, just like that. No chances to say goodbye, no chances to say "I love yous" to the fam, and no chances to clear up any issues going on between any family or friends. So, everyday is a bonus, were alive arent we? were breathing, most of us have our legs..Its the little things we live for, and life that we enjoy..even when crappy things happen like a bad day at work..stop and enjoy the beauty of the cloud formations in the sky, because just like that, it could be over.

Tidbits: I know its been a while..

Random tidbit from my heart to your brain.

Everyday is a bonus, even the miserable ones. We still have our breath, we still have our life. I got in a bad bicycle crash on the way home from work about a bit ago. (had a concussion and broke a tooth, minor injures) but that moment made me realize, that im lucky to be here every single day. As soon as I hit that ground at full speed head first, I had an instant thought of life being over, just like that. No chances to say goodbye, no chances to say "I love yous" to the fam, and no chances to clear up any issues going on between any family or friends. So, everyday is a bonus, were alive arent we? were breathing, most of us have our legs..Its the little things we live for, and life that we enjoy..even when crappy things happen like a bad day at work..stop and enjoy the beauty of the cloud formations in the sky, because just like that, it could be over.

Longest week ever maybe?

Last week was terrible to say the very least. Id say the incident with the Chicken probably ruined the entire week for me, but im not going to allow this blog to focus on that, because the last blog did. So in attempt to have some sort of cheesy positive outlook, id like to post what I do want to work on this week, and what good is happening, in order too give myself something direct to look forward too or accomplish.

This isnt just for this week, this is for the next week and the month of April, I hope I can get too SOME of these tasks??

*carefully plan out spring break for J, (for the first week of April). His Mom wont be home much, nor will his Grandma (my Mother) I / him dont want a boring week, considering this could be the last full week we ever have together alone, I want to make the most of it including ideas of: taking him to comic book store by college, Letting him hangout with his friends around teh neighborhood, and the ones to call.. 3 dollar movie theater, few walks to the mall, walk to park, bake something in his cook in a cup thing,bake something else random in the oven or what not, teach him how to play keyboard/piano so he will want to get his own...e. Try a new art project or two, and of course, play some video games with him (Even tho those will be limited).

*get at least one paws and claws (aka good will or loaves and fishes, wherever i donate it too) bag out of my room. Maybe a whole trash bag too if i could.

*speaking of donations, send off those used cell phones to the domestic violence victims group this week. The bag is sitting in my room, its time to send em off.

*put in several applications. that way i can say that i tried while waiting for work to give me a new client.

*get and clean out EBAY stuff, put in lot boxes, post, learn how to ship, time for a new money making project I guess since work is about to run out.

*work on ECOMAN blog (tonight make new blogspot and intro ecoman blog), and eco man comic drawing and strips. Ive been visualizing this comic character for a long time, its time to put it into action, and get a portfolio going, have someone take a look, and have a published comic on the market. Been my dream since i was a little girl (the comic part) but ECOMAN was only thought up 2 or 3 years ago.

*take written drive test either this week, or Saturday if i cant get a ride this week (a ride for a drive test, how cliche!)

*rip/burn STS9 (sound tribe sector 9) mix, could lay in b ed and relax to this music at night. been meaning to rip it forever onto a blank disc.

*work on openoffice.org draw program that I have, master it, and then make a cupcake business graphic proposal for Jennie's cupcake business.

*burn DVD for Kayla and Alisa of finished slideshow from our girls nights.

*Sunday- going to Bonneville with Alisa and her family to the Bonneville spa.

*rototill and put grass seed in dog run. The babies need some grass, and less mud for the people in the house.

*on messy/catbox/bathroom cleaning dirt day of the week, scoop up Chicken manuer and put in garden, and ask Jennie if she wants some in a bag for gardening (Gross i know, i didnt even want to consider this one)

*clean out ONE bin out of shed, yes ONE, becaus it would be too much to take on all at once. REMEMBER.MINUS SPANISH AND GRAD STUFF, I DONT NEED ANYTHING OUT OF THOSE BINS!!! need to start the process of making room in the shed for when I start fixing up furniture.

*fix hair in front of ears back down to "girlie side burns", why does my hair have to grow out like a man?? time to give the front/sides the old snip-snip.

* complete final disc of season 1/2 its always sunny in Philadelphia, its time to move to season 3 :)

*when check comes, fill in Amazon order for Debbies present, something for Allen, and Alisa if i dont have something for her by her birthday. be very careful with this paycheck, and put about 100 down on credit payment. blah.

*sing dammit, its not like anyones going to be home and ill as usual be spending a lot of time alone.

I will die not understanding.

The most traumatic thing happened yesterday. Ive spent my entire life with Animals, ive got 5 dogs, 4 cats, 5 chickens, and 2 ducks (all for pets, not for meat). Ive learned each one as an individual name, personality, and part of the family. Yes, were THOSE kinds of people in the Miller house.

Yesterday, my baby killed my other baby, in a disgusting, malicious brutal sort of way. My Border Collie Maxwell, grabbed my baby girl chicken by the head when she poked it out of the fence, and essentially took it straight from her body. I went outside checking on the dogs and everyone getting ready to round them in. I saw Max tugging on an object through the chicken fence, figuring it was a toy, I walked over. The sight made me want to throw up instantly, I began screaming at my dog. I shooed him away and brought the other dogs into the house.

I checked and she definitely wasn't alive or in whole form, I panicked. Could not believe that my dog had done such a disgusting act. He had been taught that chickens were part of the family. He had showed me that he was protect ant of them (he used to chase away unwanted creatures from the run). The same chicken who lost her life yesterday, escaped the pen and ran out in front of him a week ago, and he completely ignored her and i shooed her back into the chicken run.

This week, he obviously changed his mind. I will never understand it, I will never ever get why this happened. My immediate, and still reaction, is and will be shock. I ran and got Allen, who lives next door, and has been like another brother to me for about 10 years now.

Generally, Allen has his moments of dropping off the radar and not answering the door, and i had feared that this time. For some reason, I got lucky, I believe he probably had that same instinct i often have iwth him, where when something is really wrong, you detect that in people that you are close to, you know what im talking about??

He came outside, i was bawling and in tears, and told him that Max killed one of the chickens, and i asked him to clean it up for me, because i wasn't able too bring myself to do that (I am a thanatophobic, which is a fear of dead things/ death of any kind, its also called a necrophobic, but i dont like to use that term, because people get it mixed up with something completely different). I also needed him to please to removed the body immediately, because it was freaking my other chickens and ducks out. He came over, got rid of everything, I went out and cleaned up the feathers and etc that I could after he left, hysterically crying the entire time.

Henrietta was such a sweet chicken, she came to us only a few days old, with a beautiful yellow spot on her head, she grew into looking gorgeous and speckled black and white, and having an amazing personality. When id go out in the chicken run ,shed await atop the duck cage (They have cages inside their enclosed run), and wait for attention. She was our tiny little chick, shed sit at the top and coo for attention, her and nugget used to bicker over the food, playfully and kindly to eachother. She had a very unique personality, and will always be missed. Walking outside and not seeing her in the coop as part of the group, is very painful and tear jerking, mildly haunting and very un natural. They each have a special place in my heart, a uniqueness about them all.

I just don't fucking get it. My dog was so sweet. Hes the dog that approaches our neighbors pit-bull on the other side of the block, and licks its face. I sit down, hes in my lap licking my face. He used to lick our vet even after getting shots. Hes affectionate, and cuddly. A prince, and has never showed me in the past that he would hurt anything that wasn't a threat to his family. Allen thinks that maybe he was jealous, because I spent quite a bit of time with the chickens. I really don't think that was the case, tho anything is possible. ive always spent time with the dogs, and showed them the same attention i give the chickens and ducks.

All night last night I had lucid dreams, I bolted awake most of the night. They kept bringing me back to that moment in time, it felt like it was all preventable, in a way, I guess it was. we could have guarded the chain length fence better with chicken wire, I could have had max in the other part of the back yard, had i even thought for a second that he was a danger to the chickens, I would have done everything in my power to keep him away from them all, even the fence that they periodically stick their heads through, would have been protected.

How was I to know, but the fact that I could have easily prevented this entire thing by more protection and supervision, makes me feel pretty worthless.

Now its back to being really depressed, wondering why God hates me again and this time, and not knowing how to process anything. Ive been a living, breathing zombie for a day and a half now. My convos disappear and I have trouble hearing or processing anything, I cant get the image out of my head, and mostly, I miss Henrietta, and will never understand why one of my babies, maliciously murdered the other one. Fuck my life, God hates me, I am sure of it.

Eagles-Desperado Album--my interpretation

Alright, so ive written a track break-down of all the songs on the Desperado album. This is a great album (possibly my favorite of the Eagles, tho I listen to so much eagles its hard to determine), ive listened to it for quite some time now, and have been able to figure out most of it (its a concept album). Aside from a little Western History (that focuses on the Dalton brothers of the old west)* The album seems to focus a lot on love and life itself. I just dont understand where they cross, a bunch of criminal outlaws, as sung about for the first several songs (Easy money, faithless Women, red eye whiskey for the pain), then it pretty much goes into the story of actually falling in love and "whatever happened to Saturday night?" and it ending with Bitter creek..where is turning point?? It goes from talking about living free (in a no love and a shoot em up outlaw sense) and then goes onto talking about solid love and heartbreak? Doesn't really go back into the cowboy-storyline.


First as a little history which is what this album is seemingly based upon, is the Dalton brothers (aka the Dalton Gang), very famous outlaws of the old west that came from Jackson city, Missouri. There were 4 brothers, (Grat, Bob, Emmett, and Bill), free living train and bank robbing wild boys. Grat Bob and Emmett took after their older brother Frank, who was a lawman, who was earlier killed in the line of duty. Due to various incidents that occurred, they were all out of the duty of police fairly quickly, and thus found themselves on the other side of the law hence the "Dalton Gang" they were often referred too. Bob killed his first man at the age 19 (while still a deputy). After Bob (for the first time for them) brought liquor into the Indian territory, and Grat was arrested for taking horses, they awoled from the police force, and formed their own gang. They eventually recruited; Charley Pierce, Blackfaced Charlie Bryant, and George "Bitter Creek" Newcomb. Bill Doolin, Bill Power and Dick Broadwell later joined the gang as well. After months of armed robbery, train robbing, living free with "Faithless Women" and "Easy Money", Booze, getting arrested, escaping the cops etc. Finally one day, it all caught up with them. In Coffeyville, Kansas, they never saw it coming. They ran into one of their planned bank robberies, came out, and the townspeople started shooting, in the process killing; Grat Dalton, Bob Dalton, Dick Broadwell, and Bill Power.

Survivors were: Emmet Dalton, "Bitter Creek" Newcomb, Charlie Pierce, and Bill Doolin. Emmet Dalton was shot 23 times, and survived. He was sentenced to life in prison, but only served 14 years for he was pardoned. He went on to live a settled more normal (by standard) life, and dying at the age of 66. Then with credentials of being an author, actor, and real estate agent. That was the basic, un-detailed story of the Dalton gang from the late 1800's.

I believe the Desperado album may not stop at the history of the Dalton brothers, it covers a lot of love, a lot of life as being an outcast, and a lot of variable factors that show me that the album is about so much more then just only the old West.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Here is the track breakdown and what i feel it is about gathered from listening to the lyrics, and samples of the lyrics, so you can interpret your own sum up of the album:



1. Doolin Dalton: "Go down Bill Dalton it must be God's will, two brothers lyin dead in Coffeeville, lay down your lawbooks now their no damn good"

"Better keep on movin, Doolin-Dalton, til your shadows, set you free"

"Til Bill Doolin, met Bill Dalton, he was workin cheap, just bidin time, then he left, and said im goin, and left that peaceful, life behind"

Basically, in this song, the plot of the story was summed up. There is little relevance in this song, to anything except the story, so going further would only be repeatative.




2. Twenty-one:

I might spend my life upon the road
Just tryin' to add to what I know
Then someday I might settle down
And all my friends will be around


They say a man should have a stock and trade
But me, I'll find another way
I believe in getting what you can
And there ain't no stoppin' this young man

21 is a song based upon the idea of living free, not having any reason to settle down, or even die. Essentially, its a teenager song. Remember those days so many years ago when we all thought we were free, young, and nothing could harm or touch us? which I guess breathes the song of an outlaw, how they live fast, young, carefree. Great song, very upbeat, added banjos, beautiful.





3. Out of Control:

My FAVORITE part goes: "Oh my dont the sky look spacious, with the stars all shinin down,well I can hear the night wind howlin, Its a high and lonesome sound" :: of course, that sounds like an innocent lead to a song that has a very different thesis realistically.

The song, is essentially about an old time booty call, SEX! He complains about not having a woman in so long,and how he "can't feed his starvin soul" says " come on saddle up boys, were gonna ride into town and get a little outta control". He finds a barmaid, who he gives a silver dollar too , and she buys him a drink. "Shes cool water, her mama taught her, I got news shes mine and mine alone" and being willing to fight any man who is going to mess that up for him, and sleep with her instead. Obviously someone is having some testosterone issues :). Funny song, I can see the real life connection (not to me, but to many that I know) mixed with, the interpretation of the life as a member of the Dalton Gang.

????
The song makes it sound like a booty call, whereas in the story of the next song, it sounds like two people are settled down together...






4. Tequila Sunrise:

A very popular radio hit, this song is either about:

-one of the guys women cheating on him, and not being able too say anything to her because he isn't ballsy enough.


-a Hangover, after a long night of sex and alcohol, and that she will be out running around soon looking for her next.

I believe, its probably about one of the Dalton gang falling for a girl a little too much. Even though that is not a part of their lifestyle. It seems at this point as if the albums "story" is focusing more on accidentally falling in love, instead of the story of the gang. At this point, it kind of throws me to a certain degree.






5. Desperado:

Desperado was huge, my brother and I were lucky in June 2010 to go see The Eagles live, and this was the double-encore and final song. Everyone tweaked, Mike tried to take off, and i stopped him from going anywhere, because the Eagles would never do a show without singing Desperado. LOL!
Anyways, Desperado to define is an outlaw..but mostly, this song is solely based on not wanting to be loved, or not finding the right person by choice to put in other terms. Being a person who has spent most of her life BEING this song by various reasons, I can interpret this one well, and relate to it on such a level. (Plus having to had been preached this for my entire 20-something years, except for that brief period that i wasn't single)

"Dont you draw the queen of diamonds boy, she'll beat you if shes able, you know the queen of hearts is always your best bet, it seems to me some fine things, have been laid upon your table, now you only want the ones, that you can't get, Desperado" :: Its saying to take advantage of the finer things out there, instead of playing on the safe side, and not risking yourself in falling for anyone, its saying to make sure and settle down for that right person in life.

"and freedom, oh freedom, well thats just some people talkin, your prison is walking through this world all alone, dont your feet get cold in the wintertime, the sky wont snow and the sun wont shine, its hard to tell the nighttime from the day":: Its saying that the true freedom lies in finding the right person in life, you may be single and free otherwise, but living life alone with no one to love is a punishment. The babbling about the skies and sun, its saying that you will have someone to keep your soul warm in the wintertime, and that will lighten up your life and make things "brighter" for you, but for now, your going to miss out on that feeling by not knowing the nighttime from the day.

I think you all get the idea of the subject of this song.


(side two, for the tape and vinyl-type-folks)






6. Certain Kind of Fool:

Joe Walsh headed this song, wheras Don Henley headed most of them, as also Glenn Fry and the other "partial" Eagles, im hearing very little Tim Schmitt on these tracks though.

This song brings the story back to the West! It reminds me of quite a few things to use to interpret it: One is, any kind of gang involvement. It describes how to get started in the life of a gangster. I have a friend, who was once in a gang, and reading this story, kind of reminds me of his story he has told me in the past. The other thing it is related too, is the movie "Goodfellas" with Robert Deniro and Ray Liotta (1990 I believe). There is a scene when Ray Liotta's character is growing up, and he narrates about how getting respect is the most important thing that has happened to him, in addition to making a large amount of money at a young age, this song actually, tho made almost 20 years before, is very much the SAME EXACT story as depicted in that scene in the movie.

The only discussion of love in this portion, is "the kind that no lady should meet" saying hes a very dangerous boy who "had a craving, for something no one else could see". Also at the end, it talks about how he didnt originally do it for the money, or the running, but hes in constant running now a days.






7. Doolin Dalton (instrumental):

An Instrumental needs no description to tell this story, but the flow between track 6 and 8, sounds like one solid track thanks to this song. Its beautiful, lots of pretty banjos :)





8. Outlaw man:

Back to love, and outlaw-goodness combined in it. "Woman don't try to love me, don't try to understand, a life upon the road is the life of an outlaw man"

"I am an outlaw, I was born an outlaw's son, the highway is my legacy, on the highway i will run. One hand I've a bible, in the other ive got a gun" "all my friends are strangers, they quickly come and go" Hes saying that the life he lives, is no life for a Woman, and there is nothing to change the person he is, living and breathing his life of freedom and flaky people, and shooting people.

"Some men call me sinner, Lord, some men call me saint" This sort of reminds me of Robin hood, stealing from the rich and giving to the needy, although I am confident by saint he means, respect in the Dalton Gang. Not exactly sure. This is an odd song, but it has a very basic message.






9. Saturday night:

This song REALLY REALLY throws me off the story line, here im going to do my best, but im certain that it isnt going to really make much sense, being the repetitive predictability of this album so far.

"Whatever happened, to Saturday night? Finding a sweetheart, and holding her tight? she said tell me, oh tell me, was I alright?, whatever happened to Saturday night?" Isn't Saturday night a night representing a night of party, freedom, and celebrating the end of the work week? according to this song, its quite the opposite of that. Finding someone you love, reversing the role of the "Saturday night".

The beginning goes:

Seems like a dream now, it was so long ago
The moon burned so bright and the time went so slow
And I swore that I loved her and gave her a ring
The bluebird was high on the wing

Its like, he once loved her, and then doesnt anymore. I am not sure if this is reverting back to a time where there was once some kind of love, and reminiscing? Or maybe..as a twist, if there is no girl, but his love for the gang, his love for money, is what he is reffering too?

Or, another theory, is at some un-sung part, the character did fall in love, but missed his old lifestyle in this song, but the chorus doesnt tell me that at all.

Definitely need help understanding this song, it kind of goes away from the whole theme of the story.






10. Bitter creek:

Bitter creek, tho also confusing (especially after being thrown from the last song), kind of sounds like a double meaning. Bitter Creek first of all, referring to earlier small history lesson, was in fact the nickname of George Newcomb (George "Bitter Creek" Newcomb, who in fact was a survivor of the shooting. Also, Bitter creek, I can't help but automatically think of the term bitter being used in any kind of "after love is over" setting. This is my area of experiences, as my last relationship ended in bitterness being thrown back and forth like a boiling potato. In the song, he says "an old man told me, tryin to scold me, wooahh son dont wade to deep, in Bitter Creek" "Oh peyote, she tried to show me, there aint no cost to weep, at bitter creek" no idea how George Newcomb got his nickname, but its merely referenced in this song.

another part goes:

We're gonna hit the road for one last time
We can walk right in and steal 'em blind
All that money (All that money,ooh..)
No more runnin' (No more runnin')
I can't wait to see the old man's face
When I win the race

Im thinking the old man was trying to tell him not to be a jackass, dont come in and rob other people because your bitter that your brother was killed in the line of duty, or that you were thrown out of being a lawman, tho i dont know, this went straight from a love song, on back to a song where i am not sure if this is love, or about the Dalton gang again. Help???






11. Doolin Dalton/Desperado reprise:

This one says that life is the same for them, they will live this way, they will die this way, then it talks about them "going down",meaning, this life will (and did most of them) kill them one day, but that its life "4 men go down but only 3 come back" then it immediately hops into Desperado, how the Queen of diamonds let him down, going back to the statement of LOVE STINKS!!! He never "met" the right one, tho at one point, he beleives that he did. This is an important closing to the story, the ending of love, the ending of the life of the Dalton gang, and how love wasnt all its cracked up to be. A diehard eagles fan like myself, only sees people that hear the original desperado, doesnt see the people that read the lyrics to this song, and love ended up burning them at the end, and the singer ate his words, but the background voices, said "maybe tomorrow" meaning, not to give up hope. Here are all the lyrics to that song, so you can read it for yourself.

Well the stage was set the sun was sinkin' low down
As they came to town to face another showdown
The lawmen cleared the people from the streets
"All you blood -thirsty bystanders, will you try to
find your seats?"
Watch 'em duelin'
Doolin-Dalton
High or low ,it's all the same
Easy money and faithless women
You will never kill the pain

Go down, Bill Doolin, don't you wonder why
Sooner or later we all have to die?
Sooner or later, that's a stone-cold fact,
Four men ride out and only three ride back
(THEN ONTO THE DESPERADO PORTION)

The queen of diamonds let you down,
She was just an empty fable
The queen of hearts you say you never met
Your twisted fate has found you out
And it' fin'lly turned the tables
Stole your dreams and paid you with regret
Desperado
(Is there gonna be anything left, is there gonna be anything?)
You sealed your fate up a long time ago
(Ain't it hard when you're all alone in the center ring?)
Now there's no time left to borrow
(Is there gonna be anything left?)
Only stardust
(Maybe tomorrow)
Maybe tomorrow
Maybe tomorrow
Desperado
Desperado



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A song that could have easily been added to the mix, tho from a different artist...is "With a gun" by Steely Dan. "I could be wrong but I have seen your face before, you are the man that i saw running through the store, you owed him money but you gave him so much more, with a gun".

With a gun
With a gun
You will be what you are just the same
Did you pay the other man with the piece in your hand
And leave him lying in the rain?

When you're born to play the fool
And you've seen all the western movies
Woe to the one who does you wrong


Even without the "Western Movie" reference, this song could have easily fit in this album.

Anyways, questions, comments, interpretations, critiques, and mostly, figuring out the last 3 tracks would be awesome!! Thanks anyone that took the time to read this, your a trooper, and I appreciate someone reading something that took so much time and thought, and personal experience to write.





*Wikipedia.com-http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Desperado_(album) (for the Western history portions, I cited Wikipedias other page on The Dalton gang, copied some lyrics, tho most of them I did know, everything else, was out of my own mind)