chiliconholly media attack and findings news of the week.

Algebra teacher is safe and sound, I will be making an appearance there tonight. Would I ever have guessed id enjoy a math class and much more, be thankful for it when it has been out for a couple of weeks? Never in a million years. This term ends soon unfortunately.

I can't get enough of this guy lately. His name is Matt Berry. I heard him the first time doing "Squiggleman" on Portlandia. While those around me battle with physical and mental illness, addiction, and others I heard this song and was completely moved by it. It is from his Witchhazel album, and called "Take my hand" here it is for your auditory pleasures.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xCijk4qmu7I


Im opting to set up a guppy tank after payday next week. I am impressed with the amount of guppies that there are, and how gorgeous they are as well. Heres a short not so great image from petco I took and posted to instagram.
http://instagram.com/p/ZxXwxoknaD/

heres a noteworthy instagram guppy site (really, amazing fish)

http://instagram.com/guppies/

here is information on breeding them if you are interested. According to an associate at petco, they breed like rabbits. I will be giving away a lot of fish this year. These people have posted "I feel fine" by the Beatles in the background to have an extra reason to click this link,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CU65mQHVkHE


also if youre about to be touched by a cute, fake animal story check out this touching story about an critter and a horse.
sam clemens blog

http://samuelclemons.blogspot.com/2011/03/harriet.html

Dead zone.

Lately, bustling through my second term of college, im learning more about my own personality but the biggest mystery that ive yet to find is inspiration. There are times where I am so moved or inspired by something...that I feel the need to be cloned. Other times, I could not be inspired if someone lit a firecracker underneath my borrowed seat.
Inspiration in creativity, me time. Inspiration in makin this the best damn research paper I have ever written. Things I want in life, things I strive for..but part of me is dead. We need zombie-chiliconholly, I need to come back from the dead.
I have learned that dopamine seems to be a receptor to that good feeling that says "I just experienced something amazing!" but dopamine is a stubborn hormone- it only releases in small amounts unless it is a brand new experience.
It is usually if I have or can make time for things, there is no inspiration, a dead zone of thought process. Coffee used to help, it no longer does. Internet searching used to help, now it just absorbs me. Its a simple matter of "am i feeling it. or am i not?" Is that my old brain just getting dusty and riddled with cob webs? or am I just getting stubborn as I get older?
Also, as much as I love college, I feel like it pissed all over my writing career. The formality is down a little better, but I need to find an elective that gives me interesting topics to write about.
Once upon a time, there was too much to write about. In the past 6 months to a year, it has been a royal struggle to write about anything other then whats happening right now, right in Vansterdam that immediately effects me and my life.

Dead zones.

1. Work- I am here too much. When time allows me to be creative or write something rad because all the work is done for the day and it is a long shift, I do not feel it at all. 
2. When my laptop is in front of me- which is ironic seeing that I need it in front of me to post on a blog or write a review on yelp or do SOMETHING to save myself.
3. settle down time- when ive had that post-work shower and im ready to roll.
4. when everyone is sleeping- as in, the time i can have uninterrupted writing time..
5. when I have zero to little homework.
6. Basically any spare time I have, my mind is simply dead with nothing creative or useful these days.
7. unexpected power naps- the older I get, the more i wake up wondering how i nodded off in the first place.

Live zones.

1. Driving on the highway (i am against texting or writing and driving, all i do is eat & drive!)
2. when im swamped with homework-nothing says guilt like recreational blogging when you have 30 math problems or a quarter of your paper to complete that are due by that next day or two.
3. when im in a restaurant, a shopping mall, or in a zone where im obligated to be polite and put my phone or writing tablet down.
4. Weekends with my family (see number 3)
5. hanging out with a friend (example 3 again)
6. ANYTIME I cannot be "alive" I feel inspiration to in fact be very much alive in thought and writing or creativity.
7. Pinterest-when you I am sitting there posting reasons to feel alive, I very much feel alive until I shut my laptop.

advice? help? whatever you think I should do, I miss that part of me, the idealistic one. The one with the crazy ideas and can always provide a good time. The recycled artist, the super writer.